Note to Self

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Dear Diary,

I wish every morning I felt my routine wake up stretch as deeply as I did today. I wish every day I drank a gulp of hot sweet tea, and felt the warmth of it shoot through my fingertips straight to my soul. I wish every day I felt the urge to step outside and take a deep breathe of air, and all of my stress and aches and worries would blow away with the cold October winds.

The thing is, you aren’t supposed to feel this way every day. That’s what makes today so special. It was a joy to walk along the fallen leaves and the houses with their spooky decorations. It was like a breathe of life being outside in the cool crisp air, the kind that makes cheeks rosy and sends a chill deep into your lungs. It has been so long since I looked up at the world around me, I forgot how beautiful it was.

Sadly I know soon I will forget again, because today was a good day, and I have many bad ones. It’s hard to notice the beauty of the universe when you feel you have no place in it. Even if they are few and far between, I have days like today, that are there to motivate me. It’s my job to find that beauty in the world myself, even when my perception of the world is dull.

Note to Self:

You can see the world through whatever lens you choose. Willpower is key. No matter how numb or disassociated you feel, if you want to see the beauty in the world you have to choose to.