2 or maybe 1

I bought the dirtiest shoes from Goodwill today. The only reason I bought them is because I would NEVER and I mean NEVER buy them in real life. But today was different. This time I will and am going to be different.

“And am!” With conviction, I say out loud. Getting a little more confidence the longer I stand in front of the mirror and eye fuck myself.

It’s true though. This time is different. Well even if it isn’t, I’m making it different. I came to the conclusion that I can’t make a mistake if “I” am not making one. I’m such a good actor.

I can’t believe this is happening again. Who is Freddy? Why him? I wonder if he knew Adam. I liked Adam. Actually, I was obsessed with Adam. I was his puppy. He was the master. I wanted to be his puppy( his bitch).

“Ok fine!” I yelled at myself. So hard too. I think I peed a little on my pad.

That stupid voice. Why is it making me do this? Again!

This time I’ll lie. And I’ll say my name is Allison.