Being a Mentor
How to Be Miserable
Think only about yourself.
Talk only about yourself.
Use “I” as often as possible.
Mirror yourself continually
in the opinion of others.
Listen greedily to what people say about you.
Expect to be appreciated.
Be suspicious.
Be jealous and envious.
Be sensitive to slights.
Never forgive a criticism.
Trust nobody but yourself.
Insist on consideration and respect.
Demand agreement
with your own views on everything.
Sulk if people aren’t grateful
to you for favors shown them.
Never forget a service you have rendered.
Shirk your duties if you can.
Do as little as possible for others.
—Author and Source—Unknown—
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Being A Mentor
(Just to get this out of the way … if you think in order to be a mentor, it requires a degree; think again. All you will need to demonstrate is a good standard knowledge of general education, particularly in English and Math. A postgraduate degree is not necessary for entry, but some learning mentors have professional qualifications.)
The untitled piece you have just read is only a portion of a human being’s persona, but this is also a large chunk of a person’s life who feels either despondent, angry, or lost in life. Being a mentor, can very well help a person to get back on track with a new outlook and a positive side of life, with that “feel much better” attitude.
Mentoring is a relationship over a prolonged period of time between two or more people where the mentor provides constant as needed support, guidance, and concrete help to the mentorees as they confront obstacles encountered in their life.
Mentoring helps fill the gap of adult relationships which is absent in the lives of many people. It can express to them toward new information—and this may help them make better decisions about their own current or future life.
Mentoring is about believing in the unlimited potential of each and every person served. It maintains high expectations for those mentorees while allowing them to reach those expectations in their own time frame.
Mentoring is about time and patience.
Mentoring is intentional. The mentoring relationship benefits from structure, specific purpose, goals, meeting times, materials and dates. It is also goal-focused. The mentoring relationship is entered into for a reason that can be measure between both sides.
Mentoring is a method, a way of relating to someone to pass on life skills, resources, and experiences. It’s resource-based. Mentors pass on wisdom, experiences and patterns, habits of obedience, principles and prepared materials to the mentoree.
Mentoring is growth-centered. It’s not just friendships; it’s for transformation and development toward fullness of one’s potential.
Mentoring is a nurturing relationship. Nurture can be defined as promoting the development of others by providing support, nourishment, encouragement, etc., during their stages of growth. More than anything else, mentoring is nurturing others by pouring oneself into them in a caring and affirming way; selflessly giving of themselves for the benefit of another.
Mentoring starts with someone in need who meets with someone with more experience who can contribute to that need. As a result, a relationship is formed; the more experienced person shares what they have learned from their experience and a transfer begins to take place, and with good fortune, a positive change manifests.
So Who and What is this Mentor?
A mentor is a caring guide, a trusted advisor, a partner on one’s often slippery journey through a portion of his/her life.
A mentor is one who can serve as a mirror for the mentoree—showing them both who they are and who they can become. This mirror can help mentorees see themselves from a positive and empathetic perspective, allowing the mentoree to see their own strengths and future possibilities.
A mentor is one who can help mentorees feel comfortable in their own skin and appreciate their gifts while at the same time exposing him/her to new opportunities and outlets for thought.
A mentor is ultimately one who can establish a strong connection with their mentoree and can, in turn, use that connection as a catalyst for positive change and growth.
How to be an Effective Mentor
An effective mentor must be committed and committed to the process, and consider and see the mentoree as a person, not a project or a duty.
There will be ups and downs through the period of time with a mentoree, but the big picture of the development of the mentoree’s life must be kept in perspective.
A mentor must be committed to a purpose. Sometimes we see the purpose, but they won’t. We must be committed to the “finished product” of the mentoree.
Attributes of a Mentor
Respect a mentoree’s time as much as his own. Give encouragement. Tell a mentoree what specifically will be given. Direct mentorees to resources they made need.
Allow ample enough freedom for the mentoree to emerge as a leader, even if it is to the point of standing on his/her own shoulders.
Offer up suggestions and be emotionally sensitive to positive criticism. Also, resolve conflict in caring ways, rarely avoiding it, and never make unrealistic promises, and be willing to share with a mentoree their own missteps and failures.
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There are a vast number of Reach Programs in the country, mainly centering on wellness care for both children and older adults (seniors).
Here for mentoring, this is also a R.E.A.C.H. program.
Responsibility
“Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him and let him know that you trust him.” – Booker T. Washington
Education
“The aim of education is the knowledge not of the fact, but of values” – Dean William R. Inga
Action
“Leadership is action, not position.” – Donald H. McGannon
Change
“It’s the unhappiest people, who most fear change.” – Mignon McLaughlin
Humility
Humility allows us to be in a relationship with other people, grounded in the spirit of vulnerability and ease, rather than from the controlling position of self-importance – Micah 6:8
Reach for your dreams and keep the dream alive.
Reach for a better life.
Reach beyond your circumstances; expand your limitations.
Reach into the unknown and take that leap of faith.
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There will be more to come on the scope of mentoring, foundations of mentoring relationships and types of relationships. Communication skills and communication roadblocks.
Leadership attributes, how to build and rebuild one’s character, exploring diversity, diagnosing the needs of a mentoree and much more.
Next Up: Defining what Mentoring isn’t, that dreaded “F” word, and The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz.