Anxiety

He doesn’t know.

Neither do his friends.

That’s the worst part.

He thinks everyone

Stresses out

Freaks out

Breaks down

Under pressure.

He thinks it’s normal.

He doesn’t realize that

Breaking down

Wastes time.

But that time is what’s so

Unimaginably

Important

Necessary

Vital

To him.

Time to get things done.

Time to have fun.

Time to relax.

But he doesn’t realize

That this isn’t okay.

Screaming

Tearing up

Breaking down

At the worry of time.

He doesn’t want to talk to anyone

Not a single person

About it.

The overreactions affect

His family members.

But he still won’t talk.

He keeps it bottled up.

Like it doesn’t exist.

Until it just spills out.

Out and out,

Like it will never stop.

And he doesn’t know

That his mother

Cries herself to sleep.

As she wonders

What she did wrong.

What she should’ve

Changed.

How she should’ve

Raised

Her son.

If he would just realize

That he

Wastes

So

Much

Time

Worrying.

Hours and hours

Weekly

Are spent

Exploding.

Like a seemingly dormant

Volcano.

He’s quiet and fine.

Until all the sudden

There is no stopping

This argument.

This discouragement.

The fear

The anger

The angst.

He destroys the people around him.

They break down.

But they can’t

Do a single thing.

He doesn’t know

How to get everything

Done.

He doesn’t know

How to stop wasting time.

He doesn’t know that

His future matters

And that his hard work

Now

Matters.

He thinks everyone’s

Got it all planned out.

They all know exactly what they’re doing.

And he doesn’t.

He thinks the world will end if

He doesn’t go to an

Expensive

Fancy

High-ranking

College.

His mother asks him

If he wants to apply to

Expensive

Fancy

High-ranking

Colleges.

And he screams.

He breaks the plastic hanger as it shatters

Into hundreds of pieces.

He slams the laptop closed.

He throws the laptop at the wall.

It’s broken now.

No, he doesn’t want to go there.

He doesn’t know what he wants.

But he thinks he needs to want something.

He doesn’t know that his little sister is afraid.

Afraid of what will happen.

Afraid of him lashing out at others.

Setting an earthquake on

A girlfriend,

A wife

A friend.

His rollercoaster will never end.

I’ve just got to hope

And stop crying myself to sleep

Waking up with red, puffy, painful eyes, and a splitting headache

Worrying myself in the morning

As my hands tremble while brushing my hair

As my lips quiver, waiting for the tears to come flooding again while I choose my clothes

Staying quiet,

All the time

Barely getting a word out at school

Seldom smiling

Seldom acknowledging anyone

Eating alone

Stealing food from the kitchen

And never coming out to see anyone

Hiding in my room

Curling up under my covers with the cat

Soothing myself with her soft fur before the fighting starts once again.

@Ghost_Herald