Relapse
The words strike my skin and dig there way into my marrow. All I hear is the first sentence; your cancer is back. After that everything is fuzzy. I hear people talking, but they’re underwater, unclear.
I think my mom is crying, maybe my dad too. I feel nauseous. My hair has only just grown back, I’ve only just built up to my strength to where it was, I’ve only just gotten my life back. And now I’m supose to give it up it Chemo again?
What if I don’t do it? What if I choose not to fight? What if I give up?
My head spins. I can’t even imagine being that sick again, feeling the way I did after every apppointment. I cant do it again.
But when I look at my mom, sitting in the corner, tears streaming down her face, soaking through klenex after klenex, I know I can’t give in. I have to fight. If not for me than for her. She gave me everything I could ever want; a loving mother, a friend that will always be by my side, a shoulder to cry on.
She has so much more to loose than I do. She has a child, someone she raised and cared for because it was hers. I only have myself to loose, and sometimes I wish I could loose her anyways.
I can’t predict what the future holds, or how it’ll turn out. But I do know I’ll have people beside me, fighting right along with me. #Sentimental #IDidIt #SoCanYou #DontGiveUp #Fight