Overpopulated Earth: Tie a Knot In It Already

The world is definitely over populated. The problem is that when it comes to procreation, we have a very dark ages view of things. There was a time when the, "Be fruitful and multiply" mandate that was central to many religious and cultural beliefs insured that humanity would not become extinct. Today, this mindset is antiquated and dangerous. If you need proof, just consider that there is currently over seven billion souls inhabiting this small spinning blue ball that is orbiting a modest star in an even more modest galaxy. Given the numbers, I'd argue that we have the whole procreation thing figured out and we can now figure out how to find a balance. However for the sake of argument, let's compare and contrast the historical period where fertility and survival were an absolute necessity to the circumstances that exist in the twenty-first century.

The early societies and faiths understood that life was tough. So tough, you were lucky to live to the ripe old age of, "Died during childbirth at the age of twenty-two trying to bring your sixth child into the world." The lack of medical knowledge and high infant/mother mortality rates meant that society had to fuck towards a surplus. It took a lot of people to farm the land which meant labor had to be both plentiful and cheap. There is no cheaper labor than Junior and his five siblings. Thus, having a lot of children meant that you would be able to bring in the crop. Conceiving the children also provided you with something to do during that ten minute break between eating your dinner gruel and going to bed so you could get up before dawn to till the earth and fertilize it with your own fecal matter. Given these circumstances, the church and government leadership needed to remind the peasantry that they needed to breed. A lot! So, policies that promoted constant procreation were created. As far as the church and aristocracy was concerned, "Every sperm was sacred." It was the sticky fuel that kept humanity at the top of the food chain.

Of course, the unending baby assembly line had another purpose. It provided surplus against those pesky diseases and wars that made life so interesting for the mideaval human. When the blood letting, demon exocisms, and holes drilled into skulls didn't cure the plagues and entire villages had to be burned to the ground to prevent the spread of disease, it was important that the latest generation was already germinating. The religious leaders and governments knew that it was all a numbers game. Babies had to be made in greater proportion to the peasants who kicked off from the latest plague. Thus is was a woman's duty to crank 'em out, wean 'em, and send them to work at constant rate. If you died, your husband would just marry your sister and continue production.

Of course, breeding was also the source of men used to fight the various wars started over such critical socio-political reasons as,"My bloodline is slightly less inbred than your bloodline" and "My God can beat up your God." If baby's weren't being made, how could Lord Douche Bag raise an army to take over the domain of Duke Ass Hat? More importantly, babies were needed in case some royal dick head wanted to start a war fifteen years from now. Being a political leader meant that you had to supply the soon to be corpses not only for the current war, but also for the next time you wanted to prove that your spear was bigger than your political rival's.

Thankfully, things are a little better in the twenty-first century. Farming corporations insure us that there is always enough genetically modified and steroid-enhanced foods to keep us fighting type-two diabetes into old age. We also have medical technology that has reduced infant/mother mortality to the point that mom's usually live long enough to become disappointed in their children. Kinder-gentler killing machines have allowed our leaders to surgically eliminate human beings from thousands of miles away with the push of the button, thus reducing the need to breed current and next generation cannon fodder. These circumstances, coupled with our penchant for wanting fuck each other on a regular basis has created a hyper human surplus. There are too many of us to continue thinking that we need to breed beyond the one to one ratio.

Thanks to modern technology, I think we can cozy up with the condom, treasure the tubal ligation, master masterbation, and venerate the vasectomy. We owe it to our planet.