Lay to Bare - A Broken Memoir (2, 1, 7, 6, 5, 4)
2
...there i go.. Straight back to die..
Here i am now;
so much later
gouging my eyes out
with the broken pieces.
Still.
And Still i hold onto Her.
But Her image is tainted
with Him...
and i just can’t
Shake the feeling
that Her heart
belongs to Him.
i love this
woman. My childish...
1
Pain,
Embarrasment,
Humiliation,
Defeat,
Cowardice,
Regret.
Hatred,
For myself.
Hatred,
for Shelly.
Hatred,
for Jared.
Hatred,
for the world.
Hatred,
for Her
for Her not showing me
then and there.
Hatred,
for myself
for not rising.
And Still i
carry this
Hatred,
in my mind,
in my heart,
it lives
and dies
on Her word,
on Her touch.
And if She can’t
Deliver...
7
...let Him have Her.
To insinuate
that i wasn’t
going to go,
with my girlfriend
as though i
would be ok
with Them
alone
Together
in His room,
while i waited in the garage for Them to return.
Later He leaves
to the store with L.
Shelly,
with this sensual air
stands in leggings
with Her Big Ass
Beautiful
facing where He’ll pull up
upon His return...
6
Later. In Michelle’s garage...
“You wanna go smoke?”
He said.
Michelle makes the move
to go to Him,
His room.
“May I come?”
i said.
Weak.
I felt
as though
I just...
5
...induced nerves.
How foolish of me.
to sit there,
to be there.
Past lovers,
living together,
Mother and Father
with their kids.
how...
how could i not see
but still i pushed,
love,
or my dumb
passionate heart
Screaming.
for me to press
on through
the thorns,
I’m losing blood loving her.
4
There are some memories
that i just can’t let go of.
Him and Her.
It hurts
and its even hard
to write
Their names Together.
But They are
attached
Together.
That night
in November;
at the casino,
Their body language
Their flirtatious
energy,
chemistry,
right before my eyes,
i couldn’t wake up
from my
Methamphetamine/