03. The Soul Bank

It was Meridian’s death day, and, much like the five hundred death days before this one, Meridian had trouble getting out of bed. As if her soul worked on a yearly calendar, she always woke on the anniversary of her death with a nagging ache in her chest — the physical manifestation of a broken heart.

Sometimes she envied those who reincarnated. It was almost a merciful cycle to forget the life you lived before when you could no longer live it. The pain of knowing that things continue to move forward without you could sometimes suffocate even the toughest of souls, especially if there was a crack in the foundation — the heart. And, sure enough, there were tons of tiny cracks in Meridian’s. She supposed the only thing that kept it from falling completely to pieces was to know that Omar still had her on his mind, and, she hoped, in his heart.

This small respite, the certainty that her lover from half a millennia ago had not forgotten her, made all the memories that poked and jabbed at the deepest and most vulnerable parts of her just a bit easier to bear. It was that fact that kept her going and that fact that made it imperative that she not end up in the Netherworld.

So, despite the dull ache that encased her, Meridian got up and prepared for her visit to the Soul Bank. It was a mystery what she was getting herself into. Only desperate souls went to the Soul Bank. With what she was facing, she’d definitely consider herself desperate. She just hoped this would be the answer to her problems.

*

When Meridian reached the Soul Bank, Grace was dutifully waiting for her out front, pacing and muttering to herself about the crazy things she does in the name of friendship. It was true that Grace has done some things for Meridian that would have her considering Grace more than just a friend. There were just some things that once you went through them together, you were family. Meridian made a mental note to add this to the long list of things she owed Grace for.

“Nervous, Grace?” Meridian joked when she was within earshot of the pacing woman.

Grace looked up with a pained expression, her hair whipping in the wind. “Nervous? Why would I be nervous? We’re only going to the shadiest place in the entire afterlife, which is probably frowned upon!”

“Frowned upon, maybe even discouraged, but definitely not against the rules.” Meridian smiled cheekily at Grace who just placed her hands on her hips.

Meridian did understand Grace’s reservations. Souls who utilized the services of the Soul Bank were never quite the same, yet those who had never been in there actually knew what happened within its walls.

She stared up at the two-story, greyish-green stone building. Although it was a rather sunny day, the bank seemed to be shrouded in darkness. It’s only light coming from a bright, white sign that read, “The Soul Bank” in big, bold, red letters. She gave Grace one last look before proceeding up the stairs that led to a large double glass door with intricate green designs around its edges. Grace gave a small whimper as Meridian opened one of the doors.

Inside was more ominous than the outside. It wasn’t as dark, but it was empty. The tan, laminate floor tiles echoed their footsteps as they ventured further into the bank. To the right and left of them were stiff-backed chairs in various shades of brown. Directly in front was a long counter with five stations for tellers, yet not one was occupied.

“Strange. Why is it so empty?” Grace whispered.

“Why hello, dears,” a voice said from behind them. “Welcome to the Soul Bank.”

Grace jumped and grabbed onto Meridian’s arm.

Meridian turned around and came face to face with an older woman who had a large smile pasted onto her grandmotherly face. Meridian’s eyes traveled to her grey, kinky afro before meeting the woman’s eyes housed behind round-edged triangular-shaped mauve eyeglasses. “You must be Hafeeza Crow.”

Hafeeza laughed. “So you’ve heard of me. Not many know me before coming here. What’s wrong with your friend?”

Hafeeza’s eyes traveled to Grace, whose face seemed to be stuck in a silent scream. Meridian elbowed her in the side before answering, “I’ve been asking myself that for years.”

Grace made an offended sound but said nothing as she eyed Hafeeza wearily.

“I assure you, young lady, whatever you may have possibly heard about me is not true.”

“So you don’t suck out the life of unsuspecting souls?” Grace whimpered.

“Grace!”

Hafeeza just chuckled as she waved it off. “No one would be around to tell you that if it was true.”

Grace’s shoulders slumped as she slightly relaxed, but she kept a firm grasp on Meridian’s arm. Meridian side eyed Grace.

“I suppose you are here on some form of business though and this is not some sightseeing tour.” Hafeeza continued, adjusting her patchwork vest that was decorated with pictures of cats.

“Yes, of course. I am in trouble and I think you can help me.”

“Well join me in my office. I’ll see what I can do.”

Hafeeza waved a hand and a polished, wooden staircase appeared on their right leading to a second floor that did not seem accessible anywhere before. Both women followed Hafeeza’s shuffling footsteps up the stairs and into an expansive room with paisley, wallpapered walls. Hafeeza led them around the wooden-railed opening at the landing of the staircase to a door emblazoned with her name in red letter and ushered them inside.

Meridian and Grace took the two chairs in front of Hafeeza’s desk looking at the glass shelves filled with boxes labeled with names that lined the wall behind her desk.

Grace leaned over and whispered in Meridian’s ear. “What do you suppose is in those?”

Meridian shrugged, twiddling her thumbs as Hafeeza took a seat in the regal looking blood red chair behind her desk. It wasn’t until this moment that Meridian wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing. Hafeeza seemed sweet enough, but was Meridian really making the right decision?

Hafeeza adjusted her glasses and folded her hands atop her desk before speaking again. “So, what seems to be the problem you think I can help with?” Her voice was sugary sweet and Meridian almost cringed. It should have put her at ease, but instead, it slightly put her on edge.

“I’m in danger of being sent to the Netherworld.”

Grace grabbed Meridian’s hand and squeezed. She was not much help before, but Meridian was so thankful for her presence now.

“Well, that’s easily fixed with reincarnation. Why come here?”

“I haven’t reincarnated in the 500 years I’ve been here.”

Hafeeza’s eyebrows shot up into her kinky afro before she schooled her expression into one of indifference. “Defective soul or something?”

Meridian bristled. She did not like being referred to as defective. There was nothing defective about her. She was loved, not defective.

“While alive, I fell in love with an immortal man. As long as he remembers me, I cannot reincarnate.” And as long as he still loves me, I don’t want to reincarnate, she added silently.

“You seem to have done okay this long. Why seek me out now?”

Meridian was getting frustrated. She couldn’t imagine why Hafeeza couldn’t just get to the part where they discussed how she was going to save her from a life of misery in hell.

Grace, likely sensing Meridian’s frustration, gave her hand another squeeze.

“I face final judgment in thirty days and I have a declining medium grade soul. Reincarnation is obviously not an option for me.”

“And so you’re looking for help in upgrading your soul?”

“Exactly!”

Hafeeza rubbed her chin thoughtfully while sizing Meridian up. Meridian eyed her back, steeling her nerves so as not to appear afraid. She had no idea what it would take to get Hafeeza Crow to agree to help her. She had no idea what that help would look like. She just knew that she needed it, and she was almost desperate enough to do anything.

“I can help, but it’s going to cost you.”

“Cost me what?” Meridian’s palms were sweaty as she wondered what Hafeeza would want as payment. The afterlife didn’t necessarily have a currency.

“You see these here?” Hafeeza gestured to the boxes behind her. “These are deposits made by the souls who venture into my domain. Should you agree to my terms, you, too, will be on this wall. I’d just like to warn you of this: from the little you’ve told me, you’d need to pay a hefty deposit.”

“But what will it cost? What is in the boxes?” Grace leaned forward, her curiosity making her insert herself into the conversation.

“Curious one, isn’t she?” Hafeeza chuckled before she dramatically slapped her hands flat on her desk and said in a sinister voice that starkly contrasted the sugary sweet voice from earlier. “Memories!”

Meridian flinched and Grace gasped, leaning back in her chair. Neither of them was particularly sure what that meant, but Meridian already felt a sense of foreboding that seemed to fill her lungs and made it hard to breathe.

“Memories?”

“Yes. It’s quite simple, really. Just as the memories of those that are alive keep you tethered to your current soul. The memories you hold keep you tethered as well. What’s purer than a clean slate?”

“So you just wipe the memories of souls who need a higher soul grade? And Commissioner Dotan just allows this?” Grace asked, incredulously.

Hafeeza arched an eyebrow at Grace’s mentioning of the commissioner. “Michael is powerful, but he isn’t the only powerful soul in the afterlife. Besides,” she gave another chuckle, “I’m his mother.”

Meridian turned to look at Grace whose mouth was opened in the shape of an ‘O’.

“Grace, you’re crushing my hand.”

Shaking her hand that Grace finally let go of, Meridian turned back to Hafeeza. Many questions were running through her mind, but one was more important to her than all the rest.

“Would you have to take all of my memories?”

“In some circumstances, I would not have to, but, again, your case seems to need a hefty payment. To be safe, none of your memories should linger.”

“So, I wouldn’t be me?”

“I don’t like this, Meridian,” Grace spoke up, reclaiming Meridian’s hand once again.

“Many don’t like this, but once it’s over, the memories are gone anyway. What would they know or care?” Hafeeza hunched her shoulders in a shrug, then waved her hand, in which a contract materialized. “All you have to do is sign on the line and I can make sure you never see the Netherworld.”

With another wave of Hafeeza’s hand, a pen rested in Meridian’s hand that was free of Grace’s fierce hold. Meridian looked between Hafeeza’s eager face and the contract laid out in front of her.

“I understand what losing these memories does for me, but what does gaining them do for you?”

“Never you mind that. Let me worry about what I’ll do with your deposit once it’s mine. Are you in or out?”

“Meridian,” Grace tugged at her sleeve. “I don’t really like this, but she does kind of make sense. Once the memories are gone, you’ll have the soul grade to withstand final judgment and stay here. What do you have to lose?”

“Omar,” Meridian whispered.

“What?” Grace asked.

“I’d lose Omar. If I sign this, I won’t remember him. I won’t know who he is. I won’t love him.”

“But you can’t be with him now anyway, Meridian. Is that really a loss?”

Meridian’s eyes glistened as she contemplated what forgetting Omar would mean for her. She knew Grace didn’t fully understand what Omar meant to her. Grace was left suffering her own heartbreak daily after final judgment and would probably jump at the opportunity to just forget.

It was not like that for Meridian, though. Her love for Omar kept her going every day in the afterlife. Sure there were days not being able to hold him again were difficult, but just knowing that he still remembered her 500 years later was enough to sustain her.

“I can’t.”

“Are you sure?” Hafeeza inched the contract closer to Meridian’s pen-wielding hand.

“No, I’m not, but I — just no.”

Meridian dropped the pen on the desk and stood up, pulling Grace up with her. Both the contract and pen disappeared as Hafeeza crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

“Very well. Just know that I will not extend this offer again. When your thirty days come to an end, you will find yourself in the Netherworld.”

Not bothering to respond, Meridian pulled Grace out of the office. Grace hurried behind Meridian and did not say anything until they were well done the street from the bank.

“Meridian, slow down, please.”

Meridian slowed her pace but did not stop walking. She did not know where she was going, but there was an ache in her chest that made her not want to stop because if she did she would break apart.

So, she had no intention of stopping, but Grace dug in her heels and pulled on Meridian’s arm so that Meridian whipped around and was engulfed in a hug by Grace. That was all it took for the floodgates to open and Meridian fell apart in Grace’s embrace.

Grace rubbed soothing circles on her back and kept whispering into Meridian’s hair, “That’s it. Let it out.”

“What am I going to do, Grace?” Meridian wailed. She didn’t actually intend for Grace to answer her. She just needed to get the words out. “That was my chance and I couldn’t because I love him. How could I be so stupid?”

“Oh honey, you’re not stupid. You’re in love.” Grace cupped Meridian’s chin in one hand and wiped her tears with her other hand. “We will just have to find another way.”

“But there is no other way!”

“We don’t know that.”

“Except that we do.”

“Meridian King! I will not allow you to give up yet. We still have twenty-eight and a half days and I intend to use every single one of them to find a solution. So have your cry and then, get it together.”

Staring at Grace and thanking the universe for putting such a supportive soul into her life, Meridian sucked in a breath and forced a small smile on her face. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?”

“My house. We have some planning to do.”

Both women linked arms and continued walking down the street. Meridian felt a little better, but it did not stop her from feeling the Atlas-like burden that sunk a little deeper on her shoulders. There had to be something that she could do, and she was going to figure it out.