Don’t Fear the Reaper
I don't think it's fair that people fear me. I didn't ask for this job. I always thought a nice job in marketing would have been nice. A corner office with a view. And the whole long hooded robe thing is a vile schtick. I can hardly breathe under there. I guess I don't really need to, considering that I'm already dead, but it's the principle of the thing. Even the name given to me sounds so dreary, 'the Grim Reaper'. I can be as jolly as the next guy.
People fear me because they don't know where it is I take them after they pass. I can't share that information with you, only to say that there is SOMETHING after all this, but what it is I cannot say. Why I was chosen for this particular job, I don't really know. Maybe it has something to do with the way my mother used to always say, "Bo, you'll be the death of me." And I literally was. I died before she did, at the tender age of 17 in a motorcycle accident. It was all very tragic, but I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood. When it's your time it's your time. I don't decide.
I hear a lot of pleading in my line of work, especially if they were a vile human being in their lifetime. I don't pass judgement, that's for the big guy to do. I am just a messenger. When I feel the saddest about my job is when I am called upon to gather the soul of a young child. During these times, I do feel like the villain they paint me out to be. On the flip side, I take pleasure in gathering the souls of killers, rapists, child molesters, and the like. Their cries for mercy are not heard.
I have no delusions of grandeur. I know that what I do is not technically difficult, but it is soul sucking. I don't like seeing the sick and frightened calling out to me to stay away. They know that this is a futile request. I can't leave them be. It is their time to memeet their maker. So, if you see me, don't be afraid. As long as you have led a decent life the place where I take you won't be so bad. On the other hand, if you were evil...