05. Catch-22

Meridian's heart felt like it was pieced together with scotch tape. When she woke up the next morning, her eyes were crusted over and her nose was sore, but she still managed to make it out of the house and trudged her way to the Limbo Building for her shift at work. She did not wait for Grace to stop by and Grace's surprise to see her at her desk was evident by the way Grace kept eying Meridian as if she'd suddenly fall apart and scatter all over their shared workspace. Grace did not say anything though, so they continued to work together in companionable silence that Meridian was more than grateful for.

The options Meridian had left tumbled through her mind as she input the results of her last month of tours into the Limbo Building's database. It was a cruel twist of fate that of all the ways she could contribute to society in the afterlife, this was her job. Not all newly dead souls traveled through the Limbo Building. Some souls, like Meridian, go directly to the transition center. The Limbo Building, however, welcomed souls who, though dead, had the opportunity to go back to the life they were leading prior to death. These souls were the ones who died, but come back.

When Meridian was alive, she used to think the people who "came back" were just miracles. After dying herself, Meridian learned it was more than that. Those who die and get the chance to go back, if they so choose, have unfinished business, whether good or bad, to attend to. Apparently, loving Omar wasn't enough unfinished business for Meridian to have this chance and this brought her back to her dilemma.

Meridian could choose to reincarnate, but she'd be starting life over and eventually lose her memories, which is why she turned down the Soul Bank. If Meridian didn't reincarnate, she'd be sent to the Netherworld, which was the original problem she had. The only difference now is that she had much less time to figure out a solution. As she wandered around the recesses of her mind, it became more apparent to her than ever that she truly did run out of options.

"I'm going to do it," she breathed out, breaking the silence.

Grace's head perked up and she peeked over the dividing wall. "Do what?"

Meridian gave Grace a look as if to say "really?", but answered anyway. "I'm going to go to the Netherworld."

Grace's ocean blue eyes watered, but she had the good sense not to shed them. Grace reached her hand over the wall and stretched it out for Meridian to take. "He must mean a lot."

Oh, he does.

"It's not just that. If I go through with this, I lose everything, and I think 500 years worth of memories is a lot of time to give up. I don't want to forget him or you. You mean a lot to me too."

Grace dabbed at her wet eyes with her free hand. "Oh, Meridian! I love you too. If it were possible for me, I'd follow you to hell."

Meridian smiled at Grace, touched by the true friendship she always provided. Even in the worst possible moments, Meridian knew she could count on Grace. Her eyes slipped to her left to the various clocks that adorned the wall counting the days, hours, and seconds of souls all over the earth. All on different hours, yet somehow still perfectly keeping time.

She was never more aware of the ticking of seconds as she was at this moment, contemplating the amount of time she had left here. It was this heightened awareness that drew her eyes to a small silver-framed clock in her direct line of eyesight, with a mere thirty seconds remaining before that soul, whoever it may be, took their last earthly breath and joined the afterlife.

As her last official duty, before she gave the Judgment Council her decision, Meridian wanted to welcome that soul in. She squeezed Grace's hand before letting her fingers slip away, gesturing with her head toward the clock that now had ten seconds remaining. "I'm going to take this one."

Grace nodded, wiping at her eyes as if they already said goodbye. "There's no better soul to do so."

With a smile, Meridian walked to the lobby, enclosed with glass doors and windows that gave the perfect view to outside. Any second now, her last penance would walk through those doors, and she was determined to provide this soul everything Meridian would likely be missing by the end of the day.

Meridian stared out the glass door, but decided at the last second that would be a bit creepy, so she gingerly went about tidying things on the table that housed reading material in the lobby. It must have been within those moments that the soul she was waiting for slipped in and took a seat in one of the egg-shaped chairs in the lobby, seemingly waiting.

"Oh, hi!" Meridian greeted when she finally turned around and noticed a woman, who looked no older than Meridian had when she died. "Welcome to the afterlife!"

The woman brought a tawny-colored hand to her mouth, eyes wide. "Am I dreaming?"

Meridian gave a light, tinkling laugh. "No. This is real. I felt like that the first time I got here, but I can show you around. You have a special opportunity that not many of us get. My name is Meridian."

Meridian held out her hand to the woman and hoped she would take it. She needed this last moment of normalcy more than anyone could imagine and this woman had all the power to give it to her. The woman stared at Meridian's hand, green eyes misting over.

"Remi. My name is Remi Miles," she grabbed Meridian's hand delicately. "Special opportunity?"

"Well, yes. You're in Limbo. It's where all the souls go who are in between worlds. It gives you a choice. After finding out all there is to know about the afterlife, you can decide to stay here or go back to the life you were leading."

"How do I go back?"

Meridian frowned. Remi hadn't even seen much of the afterlife and she already sounded eager to leave. She knew death was a scary unknown, but how amazing is it to find out something exists once you die? Maybe Remi was just shocked.

"The coin. Before leaving the ferry that brought you here, Captain Charlie should have given you a coin."

Remi held up a gold medallion in her dainty hand. It gleamed in the light of the lobby and Meridian stared at it as if she'd never seen one before.

"You mean this?"

"Yes. It is the only way you can get through the plane back to Earth. That is if you'd want to go back once you're done here."

"I guess I should hold onto it then," Remi gave a light laugh that sounded melodic. There was something about this soul that drew Meridian to her and she was so thankful this would be the soul she gave her last tour to. "So where do we start?"

"First, you give that coin to me. It's policy. Too many passing souls have lost their coin and ended up stuck here. I keep it safe in a special case," Meridian pointed to a fanny pack around her waist, "and return it to you if you decide that this is where you do not want to be."

Remi passed Meridian the coin. Securing the coin in the case, Meridian gestured for Remi to follow her outside and began showing her all of the wonderful things there was to see and do in the afterlife.

Over the years, the afterlife changed a lot. It always adapted to what life on earth was like. Meridian had seen vast changes in her 500 years, and, at times, she was astounded of the life she was missing out on down on Earth. A life she'd never see again.

The tour itself was just like any other. Nothing was special or different about showing Remi Miles around the afterlife other than Meridian's knowledge that this would be her last tour. Never again would she walk the tree-lined streets or venture into small shops that had the sweetest sweets she'd ever tasted. She'd never have this opportunity to be somewhat happy because she'd be going to hell tonight.

"This is all very beautiful," Remi commented when they stopped walking around to rest on a bench. They were eating ice cream and just enjoying the warmth of a shining sun. "I'm not sure if I want to stay though."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I have an entire life back on Earth, and it'd be a shame if I left it for good when there is a chance I can still live more of it."

Meridian inclined her head, but it still didn't make much sense. Sure, life on Earth with people you loved is appealing, but she just died. It couldn't have been going that great. Even when she did return, she'd have no idea what she'd be returning to. Would her life even be the same?

"There are many who feel that way, but it really is a gamble. Going back this way, I mean. Many choose to stay because the circumstances of their deaths are too much for them to bear."

"You don't understand. I can't leave him."

Meridian was mid scoop of her ice cream when she let go of her spoon. Remi Miles just became interesting. "Him?"

A smile tugged the corners of Remi's lips. "Yeah. My boyfriend. I love him. A lot. I'm almost certain he's the one."

Unable to stop herself, Meridian could not help but smile too. The shine in Remi's green eyes as she talked about her boyfriend tugged at Meridian's heart that was in disrepair. She knew what it was like to love a man the way it seemed Remi loved hers. That feeling that no matter where you were, when you thought of him every inch of you warmed up from the heat of your feelings for him.

And just as that warmth started to inch up and melt the ice in her soul, Meridian sobered up. Omar did not remember her anymore, and she was in love alone. As if sensing a change in Meridian, Remi placed a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I supposed we should get you back to the Limbo Building, so we can get you processed for returning to earth, huh?"

"Oh yes, I can't wait to get back to Omar!"

"Excuse me?"

"Omar. My boyfriend. Omar Rhodes."

It was as if everything in Meridian came crashing down all at once and fell as a slopping mess to the ground. What little ice cream she had left in the wax bowl leaked along the ground as Remi gasped and hurried to pick it up.

This could not be happening to her. There was no way that fate worked so perfectly that of all the souls she'd meet on her last day in the afterlife would be the current girlfriend of the love of her life. And what's worse is that this girlfriend has the option of going back to him. An option that Meridian was not given herself. What made her so unworthy?

It was if Meridian were being sliced a thousand times with very small cuts that alone did very little damage, but together damaged her beyond repair. How could this be? What more could she do to deserve just one happy moment in the miserable existence that has been her life?

And as if out of nowhere and all at once, it hit her. Meridian had the key to solve all her troubles. She just needed to get Remi back to the Limbo Building and everything would work out just fine for once.

She needed Grace.