Me

When I started to fully remember what I had been through as a very young child, trusting my memories was difficult. Things could have got in my mind that didn’t belong there, so when the memories came, they would get pushed down over and over again.

Trusting in my mind became easier after I started experiencing body memories.

The first one rendered me frozen in place, feeling like my shoulders were being pushed down, and there was a bit of pain.

From them on, I paid special attention to these memories my body was throwing at me. Other parts of my childhood became clearer, like sitting on my brothers lap, which should have been a pleasant memory. It wasn’t though, not for me. I knew I had been held onto aggressively, and rubbed up against.

My parents asked me so many times why I cried so frequently, it was because of a secret that i was being forced into keeping. Wishing for things to get better did not make it so.

Jesus was there with me in my childhood, softening the memories so I could survive. Jesus was with me when all the terrible parts of my early years came flooding back, helping me to hold on to the good things that were there.

Jesus is with me now, while reflecting and sharing all these things so that someone can hear “you are not alone in this sorrow”, and Jesus can be there for you, as well.