Thursday Boredom
From the beginning then? Right...
It started out of boredom. Like a lot of things do. Not necessarily things you want to have happen. But you just need to escape the boredom, you know?! I heard of this experiment they did once, where people chose to press a button to give themselves an electric shock, rather than sit still and do nothing. Do you know how many people pressed that button? Well, I guess I also have a low tolerance for boredom.
Or maybe I just had enough of the glamourous cashier life and my fabulous closet apartment. What would you know about that, huh? You have that “I’m going to my lake house this weekend” kind of face. Yeah, yeah, back to the story…
It was Thursday and I was waiting at The Thirsty Brew for Jody, my best friend. I call her my best friend cause she’s my only friend. Anyway, she sent me a text saying she can’t make it, gave me some bullshit excuse, but, to be honest, I think she just doesn’t like spending time with me that much. I thought I’d just finish my drink and go home.
Now, I’ve been staring at this guy from across the bar for a good fifteen minutes, and it’s not like me, but something just urged me to get up and go talk to him. Like I said, boredom… So, I go to him, I didn’t even feel nervous or nothing, and I ask him if I could sit next to him and get him something to drink. And he actually said yes. I was surprised cause I didn’t expected it to work. Well, truth be told, I didn’t know what I expected. Anyway, we got to talking and he was really nice and friendly.
I felt accepted, like I mattered to someone. I felt beautiful! I never feel beautiful. I mean, look at me. Do I look like one of those face cream commercial girls?! Why do they even need the cream?... Cause beauty matters. It does! If you tell me you don’t believe it, it’s either cause you’re already beautiful, or you’re just lying to yourself. Do you think Courtney, the prom queen, got the best role in the school play because she was just so damn talented? Well, you don’t know Courtney... But you know a Courtney, your own Courtney.
Well, I guess there was also a little bit of loneliness mixed in with the boredom, cause I let him take me home and I invited him upstairs for coffee. Like anyone drinks coffee at 2 AM…
It was nice, you know. I had forgotten how it was like and it was nice…
In my mind I was already marrying this guy and having his babies and living in a pretty house in the suburbs. Don’t give me that look, like you’ve never been so desperate to run away from your boring life! I just wanted so much to believe that a random Thursday evening could change everything. Well I guess it did, huh?
So, when I saw him digging through my purse, it was like someone took my pink glasses off and stepped on them. I asked him what he was doing, but I think a part of me already knew the answer. He said something about taking his pay for the night and I think he mistook my sudden drop back into reality for confusion cause he turned to me and said “What? Did you think I would actually want to sleep with someone like you?”. Someone like me?! I just… I snapped! I took the whiskey bottle off the table and hit him over the head. He dropped like a log. I don’t know why I grabbed the knife after that and started stabbing him, all I know is when I was done, I felt so much better.
After this, all the other men just came easy, naturally, you know?! I was finally good at something. And I was most certainly not bored. How many did you say? Twenty-three? Yeah, sounds about right. Can’t say for sure, I never bothered counting them.
Am I sorry? Yeah, I’m sorry the last guy got away and now I have to sit here and have this nice little chat with you.
I didn’t tell you!... How many people pressed the shocking button in that boredom experiment. All of them. Everybody presses the button, it’s just a matter of time.