A Glimpse of Dark Tides

The traffic roars behind me

Headlights rushing past

Shining brightly in the corners of my eyes

For brief seconds

Before disappearing into nothingness

The distant city lights

Hover over the gently rolling tides

Illuminating the blackness

Like sweet innocent fairies

Drowning in a sea of darkness

Still alive but with little hopes of survival

The black waves try to swallow the lights whole

But every time the lights dart away

At the last moment

Fluttering against the water

The moon glimmers brightly tonight

Full and awake

A big glaring eye judging the world from amongst the clouds

I lean against the bridge’s railing weakly

Feeling the cool midnight breeze kiss my ragged cheeks

My body quivers from the soft touch of the wind

Recoiling away like a demon from the light

Oh God, I feel so tired and exhausted tonight!

My mind feels murky

My vision blurs

Too many thoughts racing through my head

All at once

A bullet train with no station

Endlessly charging down the tracks

Rest my head against my hand

Close my eyes

Desperately try to bear the emotions

That relentlessly torture my poor heart

Smell the awful sent of alcohol on my leather jacket

It’s so strong it’s suffocating

It makes me want to vomit

And oh, how much my stomach burns!

Tipsy,

Breaths come out heavy

Leaning so far onto my hand

That eventually it surrenders to gravity

Head smashes against the railing

Too exhausted to move

Stare mindlessly into the abyss of rolling darkness below

The waves dance slowly

Back and forth

Keeping in time with the rhythm of the universe

This awful, filthy reality

Laughter escapes my lips

Maniacal and bitter

Disgusting as it pierces through the calm air

A hideous melody

Awful

Terrible

…Just like me…

Laughter turns to laments

Harsh tears burn my cheeks

Cutting my face

Dropping into the bottomless pit below

Which engulfs the teardrops whole

The thoughts slowly rise up

Fighting against my will power

They grow and grow and grow

Restless like a caged animal

The detonation blows

And my sanity shatters to pieces

…Terrible…

…Hideous…

…Hopeless…

…Meaningless…

…Monster…

Random words

Shouting in the emptiness of my mind

Painting the blank slate black

Random words

Tearing apart the jigsaw puzzle

Rationality loses to chaos

Random words

Anarchy

Self-destruction

A bloody war

Sanity dies

Evil reigns

…I can’t do this anymore…

The abyss of darkness calls to me

Inviting

A long-awaited lover

Arms outstretched

I lean forward

So close

So close

So close…

Brush my lover’s soft fingertips

In the dying lamplight

Almost there

Just a little more

So close

So close

So close…

Body surrenders to gravity

Eternally falling

A hideous monster

Disappearing from the light

Nowhere to be found

As the waves reach to devour me

Gone

Gone

Gone forever…

And no one will ever remember…

I thought, until a powerful grip

Grabs hold of my sleeve

I hang from the bridge

Swaying with the midnight breeze

As it breathes into the world

I gaze up through my strands of hair

At the young man holding my forearm

Large muscles tensed

His eyes shine bright

Face struggling as he pulls me up

Over the railing and onto the sidewalk

I collapse, hands over chest

Tears sting my cheeks

Jacket lopsided

Hair tossled and unkempt

"Why, kid?! Why?!"

I breath through clenched teeth.

"Why save a monster like me?"

He gave me a forgiving smile

Sweet and innocent

Carefree as adolescents are

"'Cause every one deserves a second chance

Even monsters, as you say you are.

How do you know

That time won't erode the darkness

Of a monster's soul?

Come now, dear human brother

Let us go have some dinner together."