The Worst You Take

February 5, 2020

Sunlight flooded the room in which Kasumii lay, illuminating her starkly white bedsheets. A nearby cherry tree grazed the window; it was just beginning to bud. As the light trickled through the window, it eventually reached Kasumii's eyelids. Her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked several times to clear her head. Through her eyelashes, it seemed that everything was slanted, distorted by the angle of the light.

Attempting to sit up, she propped herself up on her arms, but was stopped abruptly. Apparently her arm was still attached to some equipment. Kasumii sighed and settled back down; it was a quiet sound, but it was enough to wake the boy sleeping on the bedside chair. He jerked up in his seat, still half-asleep.

"Good morning, sunshine," she teased him gently, shooting him a playful grin.

Jake hastily got to his feet, and stepped up to the hospital bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked anxiously.

"So, it's the middle of freezing February and I get hit by a car. I'm in the hospital. How do you think I'm feeling?"

She pretended to glare at him in annoyance.

"Sorry, sorry!" Jake backtracked. "I didn't mean to distress you! I was just so worried, and I wanted to hear it from you how you're doing."

Kasumii laughed her wind chime laugh and Jake tensed, wondering what she was going to say.

"Distress me? What is this new worry? Really, Jake, I'm doing the best I can be doing. Whatever pain meds they gave me have been working, and I don't feel totally awful."

"That last statement was a bit of a lie," she admitted to herself, shifting under the covers. What had been a strange sort of numbness previously had escalated to a dull, throbbing ache.

Jake eyed her cautiously, as if the slightest word misspoken would shatter her. He pulled the chair closer to Kasumii's bedside and sat down, taking her hand.

"You were unconscious for over five hours yesterday," Jake said slowly.

His expression was serious, but Kasumii thought she could detect another emotion lurking behind his eyes. Was it fear? Worry? Guilt? She couldn't quite tell.

He continued, "Your rib cage has been broken, and one of your lungs is damaged. The doctor also indicated a likely head and spinal injury as well."

Kasumii forced a laugh, but she couldn't quell the active twinge of anxiety that bit at her.

"Oh, just one lung? At least it's not both!" she said cheerfully. "Really, what's the worst thing that could happen? Perhaps a long recovery, but that's about it!"

Jake took a deep breath before answering. "Kasumii, a potential spinal injury. You may never walk, let alone skate, ever again."

The truth of his words sank in. Kasumii gulped, but tried to save face for Jake's sake. However, she did attempt to move her legs without him noticing. It was no use. Swallowing the rising fears and doubts, she tried to formulate an alternate reason for this. Finally, she decided that it was probably just because of the medication she was on; she would soon regain the use of her legs.

"No matter what happens, things will be okay. I would give up skating and all the world be with you and the rest of the family. Even if it turns out that I am unable to walk, I will still be very thankful for what I do have. At least I made it through the accident alive."

Jake smiled at wonder at his girlfriend. How she found the strength to be where she was and stay cheerful and optimistic, he did not know.

"You know, you're incredibly brave to be taking injuries from a car accident this way. Most people would be complaining and moping at this point."

"Well, I'm not most people, right?" Kasumii quipped with a smile. "I just find no use in worrying. It never does anything productive for your sake. There's no reason to worry at all; worrying can't change anything."

Jake thought that there was plenty of reason to worry, but didn't mention this to Kasumii. He didn't want to ruin her current mood.

"So what have I missed while I was out of the land of the living?"

He wasn't sure what to tell her.

"Well, for one, your little brother has been asking for you over and over. And your sister's come over from Hokkaido."

"My sister? She's here?"

"Yes. I know you've missed her ever since you moved here to America and she decided to stay behind in Japan with her husband."

"Where is she now? Is she here at the hospital?"

"She's at your house right now with the rest of your family. They wanted to be here, but they needed to go home and proceed as usual, if only for your little brother's sake. He really seems to miss you a lot, and it's only been one day since the accident."

A small smile spread across Kasumii's face.

"You should be home with your family, not with boring old me," she chided him.

"Why would you say that you're boring? You're one of the most creative and artistic people I've ever met! You always have something deep and interesting to say. Besides, I wanted to make sure you were okay; I stayed up all night watching and hoping that you'd wake up and recover."

"You really didn't have to!"

"And someone else wants to see you! I can't take him out because we're in a medical facility, but I thought you might like to see him." Jake lifted a small crate onto his lap. Inside, Raven was sleeping peacefully, his tiny body rising and falling with every breath.

"Such an cute little guy! I'm glad he's settling in without any stress. I wish I could be like him, at peace and without a care in the world."

"Do you really want that? To have no cares in the world? How does that bring peace?" Jake asked quietly.