Worst That I Could Say

February 10, 2020

Jakob's POV

"Wait, what did you say?"

The voice on the phone was muffled as it replied. "Yes, she has taken a turn for the worse. We didn't expect it either."

"She's taken a turn for the worse. But she was so vivacious yesterday."

"Jakob? Are you still there?"

I jumped, jolted out of my thoughts.

"Er, yes, I am. Sorry, got lost in thought."

"It's okay. I understand that it's a lot to take in. Don't hesitate to stop by or give me a call if you need to, all right?"

"All right. Thank you, Nishimura-san."

Hanging up with a sigh, I let everything collapse. An eternity seemed to go by as I remained motionless, my mind drawing a restless blank. I was now faced with a decision: should I go visit? Or should I wait for more news and prepare myself to be mentally and emotionally stable? Decisions, especially ones of great importance, have never been easy for me to make. But I recall one in particular that shaped my life to be as it is now.

Plip, plip, plip. Raindrops spattered the cement, darkening the sidewalk and streets. The silhouettes of houses and trees in the neighborhood were illuminated by the lightning bolts splitting the sky. I sighed, wishing that the thunderstorms would be over. Already, many of my recreational events had been canceled, leaving me in for a weekend at home.

"I hate Oregon," I grumbled. "Why did we have to move here? All we get here is rain or snow for nine months of the year. I wouldn't be surprised if six of those months contain high winds as well."

As if to prove my point, a gust of wind rattled the window I was watching the storm through. To my surprise, the wind carried an big black umbrella across the street. Jumping onto the sofa to get a better view, I looked for the owner of the umbrella. The owner soon came into view. She was running after the umbrella. Rain slicked her black tresses against her dark olive skin. Her hoodie and jeans were completely soaked through. As she arrived directly in my field of vision, she stopped, obviously giving up her umbrella for lost.

"Who on earth would be out in this kind of storm?" I murmured.

I decided to go outside to get a better look. When I stepped out onto the porch, I observed that she appeared to be a couple years younger than me, perhaps fifteen. She sat on the curb, drawing up her knees and burying her face in her hands. I tried to make up my mind whether to approach her or go back inside. She was a stranger, after all. But something about her drew me in. I don't know what it was, but before I knew it my feet had carried me to the edge of the curb. Being a shy person, I swallowed nervously and fidgeted a bit before speaking.

"Hey," I said softly.

She didn't turn around to acknowledge me. In fact, she didn't move at all, except for her shaking shoulders. Assuming that she didn't hear me, I sat next to her and gently touched her shoulder. She jumped and looked straight at me. Her mocha eyes glistened, and her face was streaked-by rain or tears, I couldn't tell.

"Hey," I said again. "Are you all right?"

She didn't respond, but her expression said it all. In her eyes was a mixture of pain, fear, and confusion, as well as a dull glint that suggested that she hadn't slept well in weeks.

"Things are not easy for you right now, are they?" I went on. "They're out of your control, and you must feel so helpless."

Again, she gave no answer, but continued to gaze at me with her piercing mocha eyes. Ever so slightly, she tilted her head in response to my question, a tiny nod. I was starting to feel uncomfortable under the intensity of her gaze, as she seemed to be watching my lips carefully. She cupped her hand around her ear and shook her head. It finally clicked in my mind. She was deaf.

That made conversation a bit more difficult. I struggled to remember any basic sign language. Failing to do so, I pulled out the notepad I always kept on me. One of those annoyingly bright yellow pencils was inserted between the pages. I opened it and wrote on the first available page,

"Hello. My name is Jake. I saw you out here in this awful weather alone and I didn't to just leave you there after seeing you. We can go sit on the porch out of the rain, if you want. What's your name?"

The girl peered over my shoulder as I wrote, then took the notebook when I offered it to her. "I am Gayuni," she wrote. "I am sorry if this seems rude, but I must decline your offer, as I barely know you. I hope you are not offended."

I took the notebook back. "You certainly are not offending me, Gayuni. I understand your concerns." Keeping her eyes on me, she wrote, "Why didn't you leave me? What made you go out of your way to comfort me? I don't understand why at all."

"Why?" I responded. "I don't know exactly what made me stop, but I somehow had to. Besides that, you looked like you were hurting, and all those that are hurt should be healed."

Gayuni frowned, taking this in. "And what if some don't deserve it? There's no reason to try to help a random girl too far gone."

"No one is ever too far gone. Whatever your situation may be, you do deserve the best of your life. I don't know what's going on for you, but I want you to know that there is light, even if it's far away. It's just a whole lot of rain in your life right now."

At this, she looked away, blinking rapidly.

"I hope you're right. I wish you were right." She paused, trying to formulate the rest of her words. "No one has told me anything like this in such a long time. Your kind words are much appreciated. I was planning to leave tonight, but you showed me that there is still kindness in a dark world. Kindness not in some far-off unachievable place, but right here in my own neighborhood. Thank you for that. I must be going now, or I will regret it."

"Is it far? I can walk you there, if you'd like."

"No, no. Don't worry about it. It's not far, and I'll be fine."

She stood up, squeezing the water out of her thick hair. Giving me a small smile, she went on her way, breaking into a run in the pelting rain.