The Green Door

I passed by a bridge, a swirling silhouette of me looking back. I waved, it didn't.

It seems that I have reached the rumored troll bridge. Ruth, the Healer of the East have warned me not to get engrossed by how ancient it looks. Truthfully, the bridge seemed to be woven by high elves. Or maybe, the trees, tired of being apart, decided to grow their roots long enough to reach each other and meet halfway. Whatever it was, the place is definitely magical. It was as if it came straight out from a painting by Van Gogh. The water below is sparkling, running smoothly as leaves and flowers rode on it. And the leaves danced with the wind, creating a wonderful sound of the breeze.

I was counting the pink flowers on the river when I realized that my silhouette wasn’t there anymore. I immediately touched my face, praying to the gods I didn’t evaporate or something. I pinched myself to see if I was alive. I froze. I couldn’t feel a thing! I slapped my face again. I could hear the sound produced when my hand met my face but I couldn’t feel anything, not even a small tingle. Frantic, I searched for a stick sharp enough to pierce my skin. People always told me I was thick-skinned; and now, I do hope they don’t mean it literally. I was about to scream when a deep voice behind me said, “Well, that’s not gonna work; you’ll just scare off the faeries.”

I looked back and saw nothing but the mountains in the distance.

“Maybe you should try looking down below, lassie”, the voice said.

And lo behold, standing a little higher than my knees was a dwarf. He has a long beard that reached down to his shoes. He has a pipe on his left hand and - which came as a surprise - an owl on the other. The owl was half as big as the dwarf; it was sleeping though. The dwarf wore no hat and his hair was as long as his beard. He wasn’t stout, just a little bulky. He wore a rather elegant cloak draped over his shoulders - one that is able cover his entire existence.

“Ruth didn’t tell you that it’s rude to stare?”, he said, breaking my focus.

“I apologize. It’s just that when they say it’s a troll bridge, you’d expect a troll, wouldn’t you?”, I replied and then added, “no offense though. I’m sure you have reasons.”

He smoked the pipe and the owl stirred and left his hand. It flew towards the trees.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s navigating”, the dwarf said after seeing my hesistation to ask him. “My name is Abraham, and yes, I am the guardian of the bridge. Nice to meet you Alexandra.”

Before I could ask how did he know my name, he quickly added, “Don’t worry, you’re not dead yet. Your reflection went away for a while. You see, this bridge is quite special. It feeds on the passer-by’s existence to continue growing. If you would stay still for a while and really listen, you can hear it breathing.” And as if to prove his point, Abraham smoked his pipe with his eyes closed. I could hear nothing but the beating of my heart, the blood pumping in my ears. I looked at the dwarf, and if dwarves have the ability to sleep while standing, then I’m seeing it firsthand.

“I dont - ”

“Sssshh, it never was easy to listen for things you don’t want to believe, right?”, Abraham said, still with eyes closed.

I heaved a deep sigh of defeat and closed my eyes. I could hear the rustling of the water beneath us. I could hear the swaying of the trees. I could hear the owl’s hoots. My forehead creased as I forced my eyes to stay shut and really listen. I was about to give up when all of a sudden, silence descended. No other sounds to hear, not even the beating of my heart. It was peaceful but also deafening. I tried opening my mouth, forcing my throat to produce sounds but there was nothing. How can silence hurt this bad?

“Did you hear it?”, were the first words I heard; and it was like being dropped from the sky. I opened my eyes and saw Abraham looking down below. I followed his gaze. My reflection was still not there, only his. I tried pinching myself again, and I saw my skin turning red, but there was nothing. No sensation. Nothing.

“Did you hear it?”, he asked again. Apparently, the dwarf doesn’t like being ignored.

“I didn’t”, I said, frowning and still pinching my skin.

“Stop doing that to yourself. I doesn’t do you any good.”

“But I want to feel. I am not feeling anything. Am I dead?”

“Trust me, sometimes you don’t want to feel anything.” He smoked again from his pipe, creating smoke rings. “You’re not dead, child.”

“But you said the bridge feasts on a passer-by’s existence; did the bridge eat mine?”, I asked, still hurting myself. My arm was almost bruised.

“I told you to stop hurting yourself. Pain is never a measure of living”, he said, this time with a stern voice. “Feelings are the core of our existence. Without them, we’re just hollow vessels.”

“If I didn’t know that, you’d think I wouldn’t keep hurting myself?”, I said, my eyes wandering for something sharp enough once again.

“Oh, but dear child, pain is not the only feeling out there.”

Before I could even respond to that, the owl let out a screech. I looked at Abraham but he looked like he didn’t hear it.

“Is she okay?”, I asked, pertaining to the bird.

“Her name is Korra”.

I waited for a continuation but it seemed like it was the only information I would ever know about the owl. I searched for her in the trees, seeing that her master doesn’t seem to be worried at all about her. My eyes darted from different colors of the leaves from - which is also quite surprsing- the same tree. I didn’t notice it before but there is no denying that the tree from the other side have wide branches and almost covers the land. What looked like several trunks were in fact branches of the tree in the middle. A tree having different colored-leaves and as big as that? Who knows what magic these strange lands have.

“How did you know Ruth?”, I asked out of nowhere.

Silence.

I guess dwarves are not that talkative. I let out a sigh. Maybe there’s an annual gathering of magic-yielding creatures. I scratch my head, clearly frustrated that I have no answers to everything that has been, and still is, transpiring since I got to the bridge. I looked down below - still no wavy reflection. Am I even existing at this very moment? If this was a dream, how would I even know that?

“I can assure you you’re not dreaming, child. It is amusing. Sometimes, when things go too well, we tend to ask if it’s a dream. Same goes when something bad takes place.”

I was startled to hear the dwarf spoke, but what’s even more surprising - and a bit creepy- is that he knew what I was thinking. Magic is truly weird.

I ran out of words to say, or even think at this moment. Knowing that Abraham would not answer my questions anyway, I just let his words ride the wind - just as what his smoke rings do.

Minutes have passed and no one said a word. Korra, the owl, didn’t make a sound either - wherever she might be. I was thinking of moving along, going to the journey I set for myself. Ruth would be furious to know that I took a long time at the place she warned me about.

“I’d better go”, I said turning towards Abraham the dwarf.

“Yes, you should,” he said without even giving me a glance.

“Am I going to be okay?,” I asked him, clearly wanting him to tell me what this is all about.

“No, you are not. No one ever is once they got rid of who they really are.”

Now, that statement got me terrified and even more confused. A little angry too, if I might add. “Please, enough with the riddles. I am desperate here.”

Abraham looked me in the eyes for the first time and said, “Find the green door. You will find there what you are seeking for.”

I paused for a good few minutes before asking, “And I suppose you won’t tell me where it is?”

The dwarf let out a guffaw, almost choking on his pipe, startling me for two reasons: one, I didn’t know that this grumpy creature is capable of laughing; and two, I didn’t know what was funny in what I said.

My questioning look might have been so obvious that Abraham said, “You amuse me, child, Ruth was right when she said you are worth my time.” He cleared his throat and composed himself while staring right ahead, smoking his pipe as if nothing happened; it was as if the moment was nothing but a momentary crease. “The green door is found on the trunk of the tree. See that one in the middle?”, he said while pointing the end of his pipe towards the huge tree I saw earlier.

“So I have to just go there? It’s that simple?”, I asked while squinting my eyes at the tree, trying to see if there’s a hint of the door.

“Everything with a price is never simple, child”, he said this while shaking his head, a gesture indicating that he had heard this question before. “The door can only be opened if you really know what you’re looking for.”

“Well, that’s easy since I know what I am looking for”, I said.

Abraham tucked his pipe away and snap his fingers. “Do you?”, he asked. Before I could answer, Korra, the owl, suddenly swoop in and landed on his right shoulder. “Remember, you will never know what you’re looking for until you find it.”

I looked at him, wondering if I should ask him what he meant. Knowing it’s best not to, I looked down the bridge again. Still no reflection. “You know, it will be easier to tell me what exactly is happening rather than talking in riddles.” Silence. I looked up and saw that I was alone once again. The dwarf left as quietly as he had come. “I guess I’ll add another thing on my list of things I don’t like: disappearing dwarves.”

I started to cross the bridge to get to the green door; it’s time to find my reflection, I guess, and other answers too.

On the way, thoughts about what Abraham said are echoing in my ears and mind. I never really knew what I would do on this journey. The moment I told Ruth I would be traveling, I never really had an itinerary in mind. But now that I lost my reflection back there, I am eager to find it - or even just wanted to know if I lost it in the first place. Maybe I’ll know when I see another body of water, or if I open the green door.

It took me five or more minutes before reaching the tree and; I saw my goal, etched on its wide bark that reaches five meters, I guess. But what really caught my eye was the green door. It was small, almost a meter wide and two meters tall, and almost sparkling in the sunlight. I reached out to touch, to see if there was any jewelry or gold embedded on it, but found nothing. “Magic yet again,” I said aloud.

I stared at the door for a good minute before arriving at a decision to finally go in. I reached for the doorknob, a bit rusty. Before turning it, I found myself drowning in thoughts. Will it open? If yes, what will I find inside? What if it won’t open? Am I going to be stuck here on the bridge and in the forest, lost forever? I shook my head as if these thoughts will go away with it. “It’s now or never, Alexandra.” I heaved a deep sigh and turned the knob.