Grief

i remember when you held my small hand

i remember when you took me around the park

you held me tight

close

you loved me so

you never had the heart to say no

to me

when most would have been ashamed

you were proud

when most would have shunned

you embraced

when most would have rejected

you welcomed

that was you mama

that was you

i

a mental child

with dyslexia and cancer

who couldn’t even properly walk at the age of 8

would have been repudiated by all other mothers

but you...

don’t you see

any mother would have given me up for adoption

who wants a child who is disabled and ill and 

ugly

only you saw beyond that 

only you saw the true me

don’t cry

forgive me mama

forgive me

i couldn’t fight off the cancer

but i know you can fight off the grief

cancer got the best of me

but don’t you dare let grief ruin your life

be joyous, forever

forgive me for leaving you

forgive me please i beg you

because even though I’m not by your side

holding your hand

i will forever live inside your tender heart

you have to move on

you have to forgive me

because only then can you live the rest of your long life

in peace

only then will i also

rest in peace