Colorful Pain

People often say, depression hurts.

It saps the color from the world

leaving only darkness.

It turns shadows into monsters.

It holds your feelings hostage. 

But my depression is different.

I see colors clearer and more vibrant,

like the world has been soaked in paint,

the colors mock me, daring me to be happy

when they know I can't.

The shadow monsters are my friends,

they stand beside me protecting me

from the light, reminding me I have none.

I have forgotten what true happiness is,

though I have learned to fake it well.

Sometimes I can be truly happy,

a moment of childhood laughter,

but it is a ghost of a feeling

a dream ripped away

no matter how tight I close my eyes.

Some days I try to remember,

remember what the world looked like

before I tinted it with sadness.

But I can't,

because the world looks the same

 it's me that's changed.