Death Repeated
The smoke detector’s shrill call shot through my dream, startling me awake in a cold sweat. I sat up in a panic as I took in the glow of flames framing my bedroom door and the ashy cloud of smoke billowing across the floor towards my bed. My breath quickened and my heartbeat thudded as the fire spread further into my room and the smoke detector kept up its blaring alarm. The flames had licked across the floor and menacingly kissed the edge of the rug under my bed before I was finally shocked into action. I leapt to my feet atop my mattress and had just opened my mouth to scream for help when my door swung open and my roommate limped in with a disgruntled yawn. I froze as the flames disappeared in a wink.
“You gotta replace the batteries,” she mumbled with her hands covering her ears. “It won’t shut up ’till it gets new batteries”.
I blinked at her and sank to my knees. “Yeah…yeah I’ll run to the store and pick up some now”.
“Good”. She shuffled over to my desk and swiped up my noise-cancelling headphones. “In the meantime, I’m taking these”. She stuffed them on over her curly hair and disappeared back to her room. I let my head drop into my hands and took a raggedy breath. The flames were gone. The fire was not a threat.
When my heart had slowed, I stumbled to our crumbling bathroom and closed the door against the deafening smoke alarm. My haggard reflection stared miserably back at me from the dingy mirror above the sink, giving an emphatic sigh when I did. I half-heartedly began brushing my teeth but froze when a gurgle sounded from the bathtub. I turned to see water suddenly storm from the bathtub facet, causing the already full tub to spill over the sides. I dropped my toothbrush and gaped as the water began to quickly fill the room and climb up my leggings. I ran to the door and frantically tugged on the handle. It stuck fast and a cry fell from my lips. The water roared and flooded to my hips and still the door refused to open. I turned to push my way to the tiny window when my phone sent out a bright chirp from the counter.
I stood facing the window for a moment, staring as the water spun around the room as if caught in a whirlpool and raced towards the drain. My phone bleeped again as the water rushed down the drain and finally disappeared, leaving my legs and the tile floor dry. I brushed back my unruly hair and grabbed my phone, taking in the message spread across the cracked screen.
“Prescription ready for pickup,” it read. I barely registered the words before spinning into action, returning to my room and throwing on my coat and shoes. I shot the smoke alarm a finger and raced out of our apartment to the symphony of its earsplitting call.
The cold wind hit my face in stinging needles, and I tugged my worn-down wool coat closer to my torso against the numbing pain. I joined the throng of cocooned people pushing their way against the wind down the frantic downtown street, each of them with their faces turned to the ground and their hands enclosed in thick gloves.
I was a block from my destination when I caught a light. I stood at the corner stamping my feet and clenching my jaw to stop my chattering teeth when the light changed. I started across the street. Suddenly, a shockingly loud screech sounded to my right. My hair whipped around my face as I turned to see a city bus careening towards me. My body tensed as the massive vehicle sped closer and I locked eyes with the driver, his face white with panic and his arms locked as his hands braced against the steering wheel. My stomach rose and my heart ran wild in my chest while a scream tore out of my throat. My limbs felt heavy and sluggish and a deathly chill ran up my spine. The bus was inches from me. My mind went blank with fear. A warm hand pushing on my shoulder shocked me out of paralysis and I stumbled a few steps forward.
“Move, psycho,” a deep voice from behind me snarled.
The man sidestepped me and continued across the street. My lungs heaved with quick breaths as I gulped and looked wildly around me for the runaway bus. People continued to swerve around me, a few shooting me annoyed glances as I finally shook the webs out of my head and blew out a shaky breath. No bus to be seen.
I half floated in relief down the final block and blew into the pharmacy in a trance. I stumbled over and blinked wearily at the smiling woman across the counter.
“You’re four days late,” she chided gently, gliding to the wall of medication behind her.
I heaved a sigh, “I know, I just forgot to stop by, I’ve had a lot on my mind”.
She slid my prescription across the counter with an elegantly raised brow. “The hallucinations will just worsen every day you don’t take it”. She pulled it back when I reached for the bottle. “You look exhausted, dear, I know it’s been awful, but you have to be timely. Do not be late next month”.
I glanced down at the label reading “Haloperidol” in a reassuring bold font, opened the bottle, and immediately shoved a pill into my mouth with a grimace. “I’ll be better for the next refill”.
The teenager at the register lazily snapped his gum as I dug through my old wallet, searching for a final crumpled bill. The supposedly soothing elevator music grated in my ears, but my heartbeat stayed calm and my hands were steady when I handed him the last dollar with a grin. His eyes gave an ever-so-slight roll as he mockingly counted the money and slapped it into the chock-full register. The bell above the door gave a cheery jingle and a hooded man walked in. The teenager shoved a mile-long receipt at me. I snatched it out of his hand, shoving it into my tattered bag, and turned to find myself staring down the cold barrel of a gun.
“Hand over the cash or I shoot”.