Then I’ll Stay Silent.

I’m not running. I’m not hiding. I’m not floating in a cloud. I’m here. I’m not pretending. I’m not acting. I’m not drowning. I’m here. I’m not angry. I’m not sad. Don’t take pity on me because I’m here. Look at my eyes. Look at the way I do my hair. Look at the way I wear my clothes. I’m here. 

I’m not trying to confuse you. I’m not trying to brag. I’m not trying to be better than you. I’m here. I don’t own a pedestal. I don’t have a crown. I’m here. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to be young. I’m here.

 I don’t know everything. I know a lot. I know enough. I’m here. I want you to like me. I won’t change. I can’t change. I won’t change. I’m here. I don’t have importance. I’m invisible. I don’t feel like being visible. I’m here. 

I’m not waiting for anything to happen. I’m not making it happen. I’m in charge of my life. I’m here. I’m loud. I swear. I talk too much. I’m here. I don’t speak to you. I don’t know you. I didn’t get to know you. I’m here.

I don’t lie. I’m inconsistent. I depend. I’m here. I’m limited. I’m neutral. I’m passive. I’m here. I’ll question you. I’ll fight back. I’ll stay. I’m here. I care. I’ll judge. I will always listen. I’m here. 

Am I not enough? 

You’re too quiet 

I’m funny. You’re too quiet. I love music. You’re too quiet. I’m not from here. You’re too quiet. I like every single thing in my closet. You’re too quiet. I laugh a lot more than you know. You’re too quiet. I sing. You’re too quiet. I dance. You’re too quiet. I like wearing oversized shirts. You’re too quiet. We have something in common. You’re too quiet. I like that band. You’re too quiet. I can do a handstand. You’re too quiet.  It’s been awhile but I bet I could do a back bend. You’re too quiet. I think I love him.  You’re too quiet. I can help. You’re too quiet. Let me help. You’re too quiet. I don’t care. 

You’re not like us. I’m here. You don’t belong. I’m here. I can’t hear you. I’m here. You’re petty. I’m here. You’re mean. I’m here. You don’t know how to be normal. I’m here. You go out of your way to be abnormal. I’m here. You’re just pretending. I’m here. You don’t care. I’m here. You’re arrogant. I’m here. You can’t do anything. I’m here. You don’t want to do anything. I’m here. You’re not visible. I’m here. You have nothing to empathize with . I’m here. You have no attitude. I’m here. You have no personality. I’m here. You’re lazy. I’m here. You could be better. I’m here. You could be bigger. I’m here. More people could love you. I’m here. You don’t speak to me. I’m here.

Am I not enough?

Do I bother you? 

Yes.

Then i’ll stay silent.