just a thought

i fall in love. multiple times a day, every day, non-stop. i see the world through rose colored glasses and i close my eyes when the bad parts come. i was raised by trauma, loss, pain. nothing that love wants anything to do with. i don't know if i'm ever going to heal, but having a heart full of love makes everything seem a bit softer. i want to see the good in the world, in the people around me, in everything. i know it's naive to think this way, to be such a romantic that i'm not quite there. waking up to the sun hiding behind the mountains, to the crisp spring air, a few birds chirping, the noise of traffic flowing underneath it all, makes me feel part of something.

i believe, or at least i want to believe, that if i love the world enough, it will love me back.

i constantly feel this sense of contentment. what is the point of being upset? i cry about all of the struggles our civilization endures, and i do my best to help. but i don't see any reason to remain bitter, to see the world as this self proclaimed hell. in the end, we can only control ourselves. i'm trying to just live as the earth wants me to.

i'm in love with this planet, the universe that created me, all of the souls and minds that exist. my childlike sense of wonder can be seen as a mistake, just another way to get hurt, but it's so much easier to love when everything is as fascinating as if seeing it for the first time.

my heart is heavy, but i want it to be weighed down by love, nothing else.