Self-Harm

Sideways for attention, downwards for results. Up and down for the hospital, side to side for the morgue.

Why does it matter which direction I cut myself? For a long time, I let these comments of others dictate the way I cut. I heard it both ways. Some days, sideways was for attention. Other days, it was up and down. I let people dictate how I self-harmed. And I find it utterly ridiculous and shameful that anyone would even think of saying stuff like that. Where do people even get the idea that this kind of stuff is okay? Where have people gotten the idea that they can control what people do to themselves? Why have we made RULES about self-harm? And what kind of person assumes someone is cutting for ATTENTION? It’s not even funny. It’s awful. People cut as a cry for help, and here are people trying to tell you that you’re just trying to get attention. In my opinion, these comments are even worse than the “You’re too scared/weak to kill yourself” that I hear from people. Not only are all of these comments extremely hurtful, they also fuel people to do those things.

The direction someone’s cutting makes no difference. It doesn’t matter where, how, when, how much, how deep. And yet people’s feeling are being invalidated every single day by comments like these. What kind of society normalizes this crap? What kind of society do we live in where people are dying every single day and NO ONE CARES? Why? People don’t use self-harm as a ploy for popularity. They use it to be rid of the evils lurking in their own mind. But people are making comments like these, and they don’t care how they impact other people. They don’t care about the people like me, who sit in the bathroom and cry because you’re “just doing it for attention” and you’re “too scared to die.” I’m so sick of it. And I want to know just how people have allowed this to happen. We have been in the dark for so long that we now start turning off the lights.

Here’s a novel idea. Why don’t we provide kids with support and kindness rather than this crap? Why don’t we stop making comments and laughing at the stupid YouTube videos saying stuff like “I have crippling depression” and using it as a JOKE? Sideways, vertical, diagonal, I DON’T CARE. No one should care about the direction of your cuts, and using it as a way to validate someone’s feelings should be illegal. Murder is illegal. And comments like these, that cause kids to commit suicide, are exactly like murder. Instead of defiling their life with hostility and judgement, give them the support they need. You might just save a life.

Suicide is the NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF DEATH amongst teens, and it’s IN THE TOP TEN amongst America as a whole. Hmm, I wonder why? Could it be because of THIS? Could it be because someone was told they were “too weak” or “too scared” one too many times? Could it be because they were told that their self-harm was a plot for attention? Could it be? The fact there is even the most remote possibility of this hurts like a stab wound. How do we turn this into a joke? How can people joke about being depressed? How can people? How did America stoop so low that we are killing kids with ignorance and pitiful jokes?

Welcome to America. You’re “free”, but you’ll be surrounded by people who want to control every aspect of your life - including your self harm. And as long as you fit in and stay silent and cut the RIGHT way, you’ll be fine. But of course, there is no right way to cut yourself. Society doesn’t care. To them, you’re just another statistic, a dot on a wall. To them, you are just another hapless victim of fate. They don’t understand the role they had in your depression. They can’t. Because it’s been so deeply ingrained in our culture that we don’t know how to separate ourselves from it. We can’t realize the power of words until it’s too late. So let’s realize NOW. Let’s stop telling people to go kill themselves. Let’s stop telling people they’re too scared. Let’s stop telling people they’re too weak. Let’s stop telling people how to cut. Instead, tell them to NOT. Tell them suicide is not a show of strength. Tell them cutting is not okay. Tell them to be strong. If we can’t fix the world, let’s fix the people in it.

That’s what we need to change. Everyone matters. No one, no matter their race, culture, sexuality, or gender, should ever feel like they aren’t valued, or that they should do things to fit in. Every school tells kids to be themselves. So why don’t they start enforcing it? Every school claims to be bully free, but it’s impossible. People have cruelty in their blood. We need to stop hiding behind statistics. Because if we don’t our country will dissolve. Our finest thinkers will vanish before our eyes. Our innovators with the most potential will die before they leave high school. The progression of ideas will come to a screeching halt. We need to stop normalizing this. Stop denouncing it.

FIX IT.

Sincerely,

A.C.