my purpose

i often question my purpose-

if i'm worth it

if i'm worthless-

what this verse is

i have tried

to justify

everything i've done

i have reveled in the devil

i have fought my soul and won

my bones have broken, the words i've spoken

must have a sense of worth

but maybe there's no reason for my being

and my basis on this earth

in this realm of possibilities

is it possible there's no plan for me?

don't tell me i'm gone-

give me a purpose

give me a pen and i'll show you i'm worth it

forget morality

forget reality

let me think in ink

and change my mortality

so i'm better than what i was before

but my words are dead on arrival

i'm just futility's whore

if this poetry

is metaphorically speaking

then maybe i should be keeping quiet

i'm just writing to write

and i know that that's wrong

but to find my purpose i have to try it

right?

i've seen trees fall in the forest

and i haven't heard something

or anything-

i'm deaf to what i already know

i'm just trying to find my purpose

but maybe there's nothing left for me to make my own