Embrace the Fear

There was a time in my life when I could whole-heartedly say that I had yet to experience any significant loss. I knew I was fortunate and I knew it wouldn’t last. It was only a matter of time. Four years ago that time came and now I can hardly remember what it feels like to not have lost a great love. I hate to admit it and I might not ever say it out loud, but I feel defined by it. It is a loss so significant that it molds my decisions and has skewed my perspective. It is a loss that will forever be mine.

I love greatly still and there is an inevitable potential for loss that I have come to understand all too well. There is an underlying fear that settles within, quiet and calm.

It is a curteous fear, hiding in the dark but wicked still, clenching at the pit of my stomach, an unsettling reminder that I am without control.

I embrace the fear without dwelling on it. I fear because I love and the love over powers all and fills me with gratitude.