The drug wins again

It’s a puzzle of strategy and I’m exhausting myself mentally to always be one step ahead. The devil thinks he’s smarter, sadly he’s only stronger. He thinks he’s slick when he’s craving, tries to convince himself that these eyes can’t see through the manipulation and lies.

It’s even harder when the devil wins from his strength. Leaves me at my knees crying out, somebody please help. Staying ahead only makes me not turn blind, but he knows my heart is too damn kind and I’m always here when you are drained.

He turns you into something your not, he turns you against the people who care, shining self absorption into your world because he is the only one in the moment that he wants you to think about. Whispering in your ear, one more hit because he knows your feelings of shame and guilt are there and the pull of getting better is standing in front of you - but he doesn’t want that for you. He is lonely, miserable and lost, and wants company so keeps pulling you in.

I plead and beg, cry and kick, swear and punch because I know he has once again overpowered my energy and won yet again