Awake At Last!

Awakening can be so intense, sometimes. When the realization of how long you've been asleep sets in. When the enormity of how many of life's precious minutes have been wasted hits home. As your eyes really open and you truly inhale for one of the first times, there is a mixture of exhilirating relief and unimaginable sorrow. To think that a woman could be so undyingly loyal, overwhelmingly in love, more than once in her adult life is truly remarkable. To realize she has never had a man worthy of such devotion, is devastating.

I look back at the landfill behind me and realize, my insecurity is really the one at fault. I hear the voice of my father saying "you're not good enough to do that. That's for people who are REALLY intelligent", and remember hunching a bit lower. I remember my mother telling me I really needed to diet, as I made sure more and more of my body was constantly covered.

The fact is, those were their insecurities speaking. They really had nothing to do with me. Unfortunately, when you project your assumed inabilities on others, they are often too young or innocent to deflect them. Words can cause more irreparable damage than a physical beating ever can. A girl may grow up, move on, find a man who tells her how amazing she is. But those words will always ring back in her mind. "He's lying. You're not good enough, pretty enough, FIT enough." And, because of this, we end up attaching ourselves to men who will never TRULY appreciate us. The ones who take us for granted or are just "having fun".

Lord knows, I've dated some beautiful musicians and celebrities, but it was all in an effort to validate myself. I don't care how beautiful the man or his creativity is. How can it possibly make me feel content, or increase my self-worth if all he's doing is using me?

Wake up, my loves. Wake up to your TRUE worth! Don't let your pasts define you. You are so much better than you've been told! You are so much better than you, in turn, have come to believe! It's time we stepped into our TRUE destinies!