Things I’ll Never Get To Say

I stared down at the blood on my hands. My fingers trembled--my whole body did.

This isn’t possible I thought.

This isn’t happening.

I clung to that thought, desperately. Maybe--maybe--if I believed hard enough, he would open his eyes again and then everything would be alright.

My stomach tightened as the events of the last few moments replayed in my mind.

His last words.

His last words.

I shut my eyes and prayed to feel empty inside. If I could feel empty then maybe--maybe--I wouldn’t be able to feel the pain anymore.

I love you--

That’s what he’d said. That’s what he’d said and then the light had went out of his eyes, and a breath escaped his lips and then there was silence.

He told me that and I broke.

I screamed.

I cried.

I cursed.

But never once--once--did I think to say what I should’ve.

Never once did I think to say the words that should’ve left my lips before his last breath left his.

I love you.

Oh, how I should’ve said it back.

That’s my curse, now, I suppose. I wander through life, a mist of grey in the world of brilliant colors. The thoughts always on my mind are these--

The words I’ll never get to say.