Sarcastic Smiles, Painful Tears

I love to write, it's an outlet for me. It lets me take all my feelings, all bundled up in a messy ball, and turn them into somethig pretty.

Thing is, my feelings end up soaking in. The pain, the sadness, but also the happiness and the laughter. My writing is one that is usually very sarcastic, full of jokes and gags. We all smile and we all laugh as the sun shines down. I tell my friends, they help me with these things.

"If we get murdered, I'm sueing,"

"Back it up, biatch,"

But then, everything fades. And here I am, sitting at my computer or with a pencil in my hand. I stare at the blank page, my hands limp and twitching. Then, I write.

I watch as my characters suffer, lose each other, lose themselves. I watch as my feelings cloud and darken the white page. Everything that was is gone now. It's just me and the mess inside my head.

Once again, I'm writing as an outlet, but nothing is happy anymore.

It's just me. A sad girl, writing a sad story, in a dark room, with a tear-stained face.

It's.

Just.

Me.