Vicious Cycle
Like children fear the dark, I fear you
Imposing your blackness upon me like an abyss
Stifling stillness. Too much time. Time to regret
Time to wallow a morass of yesterdays
Absence; quietness ushers me backward
Backward into the corridors of my heart
Portraits line the halls, my face in each
Young eyes full of love, so much hope
Snapshots of ecstasy, just before calamity
I reach out to caress beloved familiar faces…
Ashes smear my fingertips
Blackness. Stillness. So much time….
The hollow echo of broken promises
Reverberates in the stale air
‘I’ll never leave you…’
‘Baby, I love you..’
‘For better or for worse’
‘Until death do us part…’
In the darkness I panic. Pain constricting my throat like smoke
Flailing I reach out for comfort; for whoever’s near
I compromise myself; willing the hands of time to move
Drinking deeply the sweet laudanum to lull away the pain
I awake a year later…
Your blackness greets me.
(begin again)