The Last Time

Say it one more time.

You laugh in your half-sleep and mumble that you love me.

I nuzzle your neck with little kisses, telling you I lovelovelovelovelove you.

I kiss you and tell you to go back to sleep, holding on to the color of your eyes as they close.

Say it one more time.

Because I do love you.

More than all the years we'll never get,

more than the kids I didn't give you,

more than your face at my bedside telling me you're fighting with me.

Say it one more time.

Because we had so much love.

Love the memory of us in the park,

love us ordering too much popcorn at the theater,

love us for what we had and not what's lost.

The gun is a feather in hand compared to the boulder of sickness sitting on my chest.

Because I love you.

Say it one more time.

#love

#loss

#grief

#illness