my memories might be mistaken, or it’s gaslighting.

"You are a terrible friend."

My heart and stomach drop.

A year later, my dearest best friend drops out. Starts getting homeschooled, or something. Now, now, now, I second guess every decision I make. Everything I think, everything that happened.

This girl was a devil in disguise, and I'm not talking petty drama. All she talked about was her pets and drawing. All I talked about was her pets and drawing.

It's been three years. I don't draw anymore. People talking about their pets obsessively always remind me of her.

That girl was a devil in disguise, and I'm not talking about a huge fight. I'm talking about a silent explosion, a silent murder. Her fingers quietly digging into my skin in the back of the class, while I started failing my classes, while the teachers ignored it.

We had been friends for four years. I avoided any topic that had to do with her clinginess, the fact that she was my only friend.

One time, she slapped me because I didn't want to walk to fourth period with her. She wanted power and I gave it to her. She wanted somewhere to wipe her muddy boots and I became a doormat. She wanted someone to break and I gladly volunteered.

She has been out of the school system for two or three years at this point. The other day she messaged me saying that she might be coming back. I didn't respond. Today I blocked her. Today, today, today.

I must be making this up.