Dependent

I want to feel independent

I want to stop relying on you

But the only way I can do that is to be without you

I can’t determine which would be worse

Letting you go,

Or forever depending on you?

I depend on you when I feel anxious

I rely on you when I feel stressed

And if it weren’t you, I’d rely on a bottle of vodka

I’m dependent, always dependent on something or someone

I’m so dependent on you that I don’t crave the taste of alcohol on my lips anymore

I can’t tell which would be better,

Always having you by my side,

Or being able to depend on the one person I’ve never been able to depend on?

Myself.