In the Blink of an Eye

"Please stay with me, daddy!"

You were walking so fast.

Too fast for my little feet to keep up.

Was it that easy for you to leave me?

I know you heard my tear-filled screams, but you never stopped.

You just kept going.

Farther and farther away, not even trying to get one last look at me.

I punched, pulled, and pushed trying to make you stop.

You didn’t.

You just kept going.

Leaving me behind.

"Please don’t leave me!"

Pain.

I remember it too well.

The heart throbbing pain.

As we watched you leave.

Me and mommy.

My eyes were wet.

Hers were dry, cold.

As if she knew this would happen.

I looked into mommy's eyes.

Her brown eyes began spinning with webs of lies.

Lying to me for you.

How long do I have to wait for you before you realize that what you did was a mistake?

What was the reason you stayed away for so long?

Was it all the stupid crap you did in the past or is it because you don’t want me anymore?

Since you left, I dreamed of your return.

The day you would wrap me in your arms and whisper in my ear,

"I'm sorry for what I did. I promise I will never leave you again, my little Cookie Monster."

Then I wake up, hoping to see you.

Hoping that it wasn’t all a dream.

But reality soon caught up, and the dream quickly died.

I remember all the tears I had rushing down my face

as I saw you leave me and mommy behind, to never return.

I'm so incomplete without you, I need my daddy back in my life.

You deceived me, you said you would always be there.

You pinky promised.

You broke your promise.

How can I trust you again?

Do you still think of me as your "cookie monster" or

a daughter you never loved, a daughter you could leave

behind without a single goodbye in the blink of an eye?

I wish you were here to watch me grow up

but we both know that will never happen.

"I miss you so much! Won’t you please come back to me, daddy? I just need to see your face one last time."

Am I that disappointing I need to work to make you love me?

“Hey, daddy even if you don’t love me I will always love you no matter what happens.”

I bet you didn't even think about how I would feel when you left.

No, you only thought of yourself like you always do.

You missed all my birthdays, first dates, father-daughter dances,

and you may even miss my wedding, not that you even care.

Did you know that I would wait for the postman to bring the mail

and check to see if there was a letter for me?

But there never was.

I eventually stopped going, knowing nothing was there for me.

"Well, daddy looks like you really didn't care about me buts it's in the past.

Now I have a family who loves me, stays with me, and likes for who I am.

I don't need you anymore.”

Daddy, I still need you. Please, come back.

Story time: When I was 6, my dad was deported to the Dominican Republic. I remember visiting him in prison before he was booted out of the country. I was only a child then and I don't remember much but the pain is still there. I didn't ever write down my feelings until my 8th grade English teacher assigned the class a project where we had to write a poem about a struggle that impacted our lives. As you probably have guessed, I wrote about my dad. It was not the best poem and as the years went by I would add more to it, pouring my heart and soul into it. I think the day I presented my terrible poem to the class was the day that I wanted to become a writer. And since then I have written more and more.