Magnetism: Attract and Repel

First of all,

I am lonely.

The drag of the wind across my cold, cold cheeks

is painful, of course, this loneliness that drags my voice

to say “hello”, this loneliness that drags my body towards

the warmth of life—for embracing and the caress of nurturing words, but the moment

the question of opening myself to the inspection of a caring creature,

we become too alike, positive to positive, negative to negative, I’m running away

from the cure,

running away from the medecine,

because I fear,

the lies being uncapped,

I fear the hurt as it is torn free from the caves of my reality,

I fear the notion of getting into the ocean with another,

of spreading our vast cauldrons of pain

into eachothers open, quivering palms,

I drown alone,

in a ocean of black stone and passive aggressive sharks,

because I want to be close to something warm,

something alive and comforting,

but there is a barricade I built up long ago,

as a result of something that happened long ago,

and I can’t climb over the wall that keeps rebuilding itself.