So now I sit here in silence.

And now

I just sit here

in silence,

clutching the remains

of my mind, heart and soul;

chained to my memories and

imprisoned by my nostalgia;

which, ironically, are the only things

that electrify my near dead neurons

and pump through my heart

bright red blood.

I know this to be true,

because every time I think of you

electricity surges through my hands

up to my fingertips,

leaving me shaking;

and the lump in my throat

makes me choke on my own tears,

leaving me breathless

and gasping for air,

for sanity......

It’s like I’ve been struck at the heart

by my own naïve innocence,

It’s all a cruel joke isn’t it?

This isn’t real, is it?

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

And I manage to somehow calm down,

more out of exhaustion

than sheer inner strength....

And just when I think I’ve survived it,

another entire cycle begins again,

and again,

and again.....

So now

I sit here

in silence........

~Love.

Ps. The image is of the ocean at sunset. I love the waves, the foam, the way the light shimmers on the water. Looking at the ocean waves calms me.