Philosphy? You Must Be Kidding
Philosophy 104: Ethics, with Crazy Joe Siegel instructing. Read the basics, Spinoza, Hegel, Kant and Long Fuller’s Spelunkian Explorer case. Our ethical grounding well tested, Joseph turned to cannibalism and suggested that the vast majority of us were cannibals. We laughed and as a group denied this with thirty variations on “no way,” “are you nuts,” and “I’d like some of his koolaid if you don’t mind.”
His point was simple, once he explained it. The difference between us and a sheep wasn’t all that great. Little did we know genetics would some day suggest that difference was far smaller than even he imagined. Both mammals, both, he noted with a snicker, easily led. And both, for the most part afraid of German Shepherds. We had no problem eating lamb, much as we had no problem eating cow. How big a leap would it be to a human. Huge to the mind, far less so t science. He had us and he knew it. And yet we all had a feeling he was right. No one wanted to be eaten by a bear or lion or other wild beast, but no one would object when a beast ate one of its herd. So, he said “we draw the line at what?”
From the back of the room came “sentience.”
“Ah, so thinking is what sets us apart from other mammalian species. Is that really it. And the bear that is smart enough to chase you up a tree he knows he can climb isn’t thinking? The lion that backs you into a cave knowing you have no exit isn’t thinking.” Joe smiled, knowing yet again he had us.
A small hand rose cautiously from the second last row. To Professor Seigel’s nod, a voice so shaky its gender was impossible to determine squeaked “self-awareness?”
“Well,” Siegel said, “at least you’ve read some of the old standards. Sure Spinoza would probably agree with you. Kant would give you a short argument then concede. Gautama Siddhartha, on the other hand would laugh is ass off at you, and suggest that all you have done is proven your incapacity to actually recognize enlightenment if it happened to bite you on the butt. And, by the way, how the hell would we know if a bear were self-aware. Some species seem to mate for life. I know you will say that they just have superior visual memories and this gander is not the same as that one and the goose knows it.”
“But Professor,” David in row two, who was a bit arrogant and far too self-assured in most things, piped up, “recognizing another is nothing like recognizing yourself, in understanding your uniqueness. Animals remember as a breeding and procreation mechanism. That is way different than self-awareness. Even you must know that.”
“So, David, if I understand you correctly, the key difference is that humans are the one species capable of complete arrogance, and you have amply just proven that.”