Karma Will Get You

“Karma will get you!”

No, she won’t. You see, Karma’s a bitch. And that doesn’t mean what you think it means. Have you ever heard of someone with deep sense of justice and honor, on an everlasting quest for what’s fair being called a bitch? No, Karma’s a bitch because she’s a resentful, immoral, sadistic brat that chooses her targets at random and gets nothing but pure joy from their senseless suffering.

You don’t believe that? Are you going to tell me that babies with some awful genetic disorder deserve their fate? Or is it maybe something they did in their previous life? Yeah, that sure helps build a strong sense of control right from the get-go.

But I get it. It’s nice to imagine that even when you can’t get your own revenge, there’s some cosmic force out there working on your behalf to punish those who have wronged you. Notice how you’re never the villain when Karma is supposed to do her job. Well, but I’m sure that’s because you’re truly an honest, virtuous soul who is essentially uncapable of any bad thought, let alone acting on it.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right! Look, I’m not here to explain to you what foreclosure means. Get your stuff and get out!