“Sister”
My sister was my first: first female sibling, first best friend, first keeper of my secrets; then everything turned terribly wrong.
She became the first person I had to lie for, the first I had to bring home from a drunken party, the first to lose her virginity and the first to go down a terrrible path.
She was the first person I had to wrestle the knife from, the first I had to see get a stomach pumped and the first to worsen despite all the effort.
She became my first suicide rescue, my first heartbreak as she suffered, my first failure as a sister and the first at letting her down.
She used to be first in my heart, the first in my life; but after so many years, I was sick of the strife. No longer first, second or third; for the choices made, she’d always erred.
I have become first: first to graduate high school, first to go to college, first to have a job and everything is going well.