to the woman who gave birth to my daughters
To the woman who gave birth to my daughters.
I see you and my heart breaks while being filled at the same time.
I see you and I feel immense gratitude that you brought those two precious souls into this world.
I see you and I feel envy. Envious that I didn’t get to carry them and feel them kick and roll. Envious that I didn’t get to hear their first cry and see their first day. Envious that I missed so many milestones of their life.
I see you and I want to know you. I want to see them in your smile. Hear them in your laugh.
And then I see you. And I want to run far from the reality that you bring. I see you in them and my heart hurts. The physical stinging reminder that I am not their mom.
I watch you and I see so many pieces of them in you that I feel more pieces of my heart break.
If I could say anything to you, I would start by saying thank you. Thank you for carrying them inside you and giving them life. Thank you for loving and caring for them as they grew.
I also would say I don’t know why or how you could abandon them the way you did. But it’s what God allowed to bring them to me. He used it to write me into their story. And I will forever be grateful to Him.
So thank you for allowing me to love them as fiercely as I do. Thank you for letting me be their mom too and not making them choose. Thank you for coming back into their life and being there for them as best you know how.
To the woman who gave birth to my daughters. Thank you.