Poetry

With every line I read,

Each word I write,

I despise poetry more and more.

I don't love it.

I use it to kill my time.

I treat her like a whore.

I only write lines when I'm too beaten up

by life in general

and I don't even put feelings in them.

And I also think that

By breaking the cannons

The rules of poetry

i so diligently learned at school

in order to get a good grade

I'm actually rebelling against an art form

I never understood.

I will never be a poet

I don't have the right soul for that.

My rhymes will never come from a place of love

Or sadness, for that matter.

I don't even bother to rhyme

I'm just constantly, redundantly repeating myself.

I will never be a poet

For I do not sing of lovers, muses,

Women, men,

Nature, gods

Or fun and despair.

I will forever write about the rage

That's boiling inside me

That's coming out of my fingers

At 2 AM in the morning.

When after another day spent in the limbo

that's the existence in a world too small for myself

I'm tired

And exhausted

and I don't have the energy

to tell epic stories.

I will never have the vocabulary

And my ideas will never be original

So why even bother

Trying.

Behind the smilling face

There's always mental anguish

that's brushed over by people

who are too self absorbed

and all of that anguish

turns into lines

that make no sense

that do not have the same power

outside the context of my life.

Even exposing the raw feelings

it's not enough.

I will never be a poet

Because I don't even try.