i'm sorry.

i'm so sorry.

those are the words i want to say to you

if only i had the guts to speak to you as i did when i thought you thought nothing of me and that's the way it would always be

and that was fine with me.

i'd tell you how much i miss just talking and i'd tell you how much i miss your silence and i'd tell you how much i miss your presence and i'd tell you how much i miss your jokes and i'd tell you how much i miss your music and i'd tell you how much i miss you

and i'd tell you how much i miss not writing in run-on sentences.

god, this is so stupid.

i'd tell you how much i find this whole situation ridiculous and i just want to talk.

why am i so stupid?

why am i so naive?

to actually believe this has anything to do with me.

you've just grown up.

you've changed,

and so have i.

i'd tell you how tired i am of writing about your memory just to remember the sound of your voice.

i'd tell you...

i'd tell you i'm not good with words- though that's nothing new.

i'd tell you how much i hate using ellipsis- and yet i just did- and ask you if you do, too.

you'd probably say you don't have an opinion on it and it's stupid to bring it up.

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid

i'd tell you how all of the late night thoughts i've had of you are pointless and pathetic and i'm sure you'd think so, too.

i'd tell you my words are spastic and no where near good poetry, but they're about you so i can't bring myself to delete them.

i'd tell you this whole piece is worthless, but the words don't seem to stop.

i'd tell you i'm trying to use as many degrading adjectives as i can, but it just doesn't seem to sum it all up.

let's start from the beginning:

i'm sorry.

i'm so sorry.