Suicide Note (ROLEPLAY)

Please don't worry about me. It seemed like you never cared anyway. You don't seem to notice the marks on my arms if you did see them you would think I'm just doing it for attention. I don't think you believe me when I say I want to die. You do think something is wrong with me though. You think I should be sent to a juvenile detention center. You said that with your mouth. Those were your own words. You think I'm not stable. You know what I think, I think that the reason I'm like that is because of my childhood. You hit me on the legs and grab my wrists. I shriek and tell you it hurts, but you don't care you say, "It doesn't hurt" How do you know, your not me, you cant feel what I feel. What makes this even sadder is that every time I call CPS you denied the fact that you hit me. You don't know how much pain you have caused me. I have voices in my head because of you. They tell me to remove myself. I was afraid to tell anyone because I was scared they wouldn't believe me. You made me think that I was a bad person, you made me think I was the abuser, but guess what. I'm done being outspoken. I'm done living in a life where I don't get treated like Tatum. I'm done living in a life where I cant be myself. I'm done living in a life where I feel like trash, unwanted, unloved, and unhappy. I'm done always wishing I was dead. I just wished you acknowledged the fact that your actions are not okay. I just wished you treated me the way you treat my sister. You say I should be lucky for my opportunities, I am lucky for this one. To be able to write my heart out and hope someone shows affection besides my friends. I'm lucky that my friends are supportive and more caring than anyone can ever imagine. So to my best friends, Emily, Ava, Hannah, Mary, Lily, Mariyah, Lakota. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for understanding me. I'm sorry that have to do this. Mom, Dad, Mamaw. and every other family member that loves me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I wish I was dead. Nana, Sis, Poppy. I'm not sorry. Sis, if I ever have the guts to kill myself, I'm sure you won't care. Tatum, I'm done living with your emotional abuse. I'm done living with my Sister, she constantly calls me a bitch. I told you about it, but you didn't believe me. That is one of the reasons I wish I wasn't here because no matter how hard I try to fix my mistakes, how hard I try to learn from them, you still don't believe me. Not even the smallest things. You don't believe when Tatum calls me names. I truly wish you would get over my past, and look at the person I've become because of them. One person I sincerely wanna give a thank you too, is my therapist, Lindsey. Lindsey, you did help me, but not anything can get me over my depression. Lindsey, I hope you never stop being a great person and it truly was a blessing to be able to tell you my feelings, without you judging. On July 23rd, 2019 Poppy said, "Stop crying you fucking baby" I swear to god at that moment I wish I would have freaking shot myself a long time ago. You're lucky, that everyone believes you and doesn't give me a freaking chance to explain what you have done to me and my self-esteem. It doesn't matter anyway. Because the more I call them the more you hate me. The more I scream for help, it fades away. It doesn't matter what you think of my behavior because we are all different! I don't give a crap what you think, I do give a crap what you do and say. Because it hurts me, either you don't realize that, or you just don't care. Either way whoever finds this probably won't believe me anyway. Whoever finds this I beg you, If I'm still alive, take my thoughts, and what I've seen into account. Because I don't want to suffer this pain.