dear boys who stare at us in gym class-

I have no idea what you're thinking

you could either be impressed

by our relative enthusiasm

or mocking us

for our comparative weakness

if it is the latter, as if you're much better

if the former, don't be sexist pigs

you could either be checking us out

or be wondering where

our asses disappeared to

in our sweat pants

if the latter, go stare at the girls in yoga pants and leave us alone

if the former, there are better places than gyms and better girls who won't gorge out your eyes with a spork

you could either be zoning out

absorbed in the lovely music

or obsessed with us

either way you're creepy

sincerely,

the chicks you keep staring at for no reason

ps. if you make one more sexist comment I'm going to burn you alive and do squats with your dead body on my shoulders