At the End of the Track

I sit physically paralyzed by indecision

I tremble with worry

I can’t focus

It is all just too much

It never stops

Agonizing thoughts drag my all-too submissive brain along for the ride

They come pouring down without apology

I stand in the direct spout of a running faucet of all-consuming despair

Each droplet that hits my body stinging with self-criticism

The droplets rush so fast I am in danger of drowning

I try to pull myself out, try to refocus on something else

Instead I am now locked onto a train with no brakes

It rushes faster and faster

Running, running, running

Charging ahead towards an inevitable fall, for the bridge is out

The bridge is out and I cannot stop the train

It continues running with it’s own self-sustaining fuel

The bridge grows ever closer

I turn and try to run back through the train cars, away from the severed bridge

I run backwards thruogh a charging train making no progress

I can’t even sustain a pace to match the train so much that I should make no gains

No, instead I am pulled backwards

My running is for naught

I am running in the wrong direction

I am not strong enough to best the forces pulling me inevitably in the opposite direction

I near the bridge and the sink fills with water

I can’t run anymore