The Non-Existent News - Feb. 31st

THE NON-EXISTENT NEWS

FEBRUARY 31ST, XXXIIIML

J.M.N. died two years ago while saving his cat from fishing. He believed that cats didn't like water and thought that he would save his cat from getting its paws wet.

We mourn J.M.N. and will remember him for about two minutes after you read this (unless you know him).

R.I.P.