Joy is...

“I can’t… I don’t remember… What… What is… the feeling of joy?”

She stared at them, mouth hanging off as if she were planning to swallow them whole. “What do you mean? Are you not happy?”

The half-hearted shrug they gave would have looked in place on someone dying. It was a shrug of pure indifference and disinterest that it could have only been a deep breath. That shrug compelled her to look into the eyes that were so aptly focused on anything but her. Their eyes reflected sadness and anger but also fear and loss.

“Joy is…” How do you describe joy to someone who’s forgotten its feeling, its love? “Joy is the feeling of sunshine and a warm breeze after a long and harsh winter. Its that first breath of fresh air as you walk through the park, hearing the screams of children as they race each other on the playground.”

“How is that joy?” they demanded, desperately.

“It’s that moment of peace when you first wake up in the morning, with nothing planned for the day. Joy is the feeling of hot chocolate and fresh-baked cookies on a snowy eve. Joy is hearing the church bells ringing, proclaiming a couple’s love. It is the taste of a homecooked meal with the people you love. It’s the rush you get when your favorite song randomly plays on the radio and you whip the volume to breaking point, singing and dancing like nothing matters. That moment when you finally come home after a long day only to be attacked by your pets, who are going wild at the site of you.”

“When did you become a romantic?”

“You asked what joy is. This is what it is. It’s little bursts of light that shine even on the darkest of nights.”

“Stars. Just say stars for goodness…”

“Joy is completing an arduous project and feeling pride in that work. You can’t separate joy from the terrible or wrong as then joy would never exist. Without joy, you would only see the worst of everyone you met.”

“This better not be a lesson on that Buddhist nonsense.”

Her eyes burned their already shattered soul. “It is not nonsense and it isn’t Buddhist ideology. If you are going to be so rude as to insult a philosophy, at very least, use the right one, and you better not be insulting a philosophy or religion. Ever. Got it?... Anyways, the concept of joy isn’t one that you can simply just define in three words and be done with it. It involves imagery and all that because joy is that burst of light that you save and cling to when things go wrong. You asked me what joy was and I was giving you an answer. Now, I’m going to help you get through this depressive episode–be it through counseling or just being there on your worst days– so that you can try and explain what joy is to me without being a romantic.”

A ghost of a smile brushed their lips. It wasn’t a huge toothy grin or an amused smirk. It was just a faint smile, one that hadn’t existed on their lips in what felt like a lifetime. To her, that was a burst of pride and brighter than the sun. She would help them see the joy in life again, even if she had to wait years.