Meet Todd the Alien

**So, before the mess that is to be Sept. 20th Area 51 Raid next week, I decided to share this funny short story I wrote a while ago (as in like two years ago). It’s been one of my favorite little stories and with the Storm Area 51 stuff going on, I find it also ironic now. So, enjoy!

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Interviewer: Welcome to the End of the World Broadcast! Area 51: Alien Experimentation Plant or something else? Today, on our show, we will have a very special guest joining us to explain what is really going on in this secretive Nevada base. Please give an Earthly welcome to *pauses for suspense* Todd the Alien!

**Todd the Alien enters from left stage, waving and blowing kisses out into the crowd of screaming fans.**

Interviewer: Nice to see you again, Todd. How have things been since the last time we met, when we discussed the purpose of aliens coming to Earth?

Todd: Everything is going well, Jim. The wife just had our second offspring, so we’ve been having fun with that.

**Crowd erupts into more and excited cheers**

Interviewer: Congrats, Todd! So, should we just jump right into it?

Todd: Sure

Interviewer: So word on the street is that there are some experimentations going on in Area 51. What do you think about this?

Todd: Rubbish. Complete and utter rubbish.

**Crowd gasps**

Interviewer: Why would you say that?

Todd: If there were actual experimentations with alien kind as the test subject, do you think our kind would willingly come to planet Earth all the time? No! Of course not. There’s a planet like that out in what you humans refer to as galaxy MACS0647-JD, but better known throughout the universe as Maleficence. A bit off topic, but once you humans evolve enough for space travel, if you like your skin and organs where they are, do not under any circumstance go into Maleficence. **Crowd stirs uneasily** But, back on topic, Area 51 is a luxury stop for us. Heck, I was just there a few days ago. The Galactic Council formed a pact with your government to make the stop there in exchange for different kinds of weapons.

Interviewer: Then why would the government attempt to keep it hidden?

Todd: It was part of the deal. They didn’t want other governments across this planet making a similar agreement and we didn’t want any tourists gawking at us while humans learned about alien life. It was a win-win for both sides.

Interviewer: We were told that the aircrafts flying in the sky were test crafts by a military base. Would you say otherwise?

Todd: Of course. The government said that to keep the real purpose of the place a secret. Humans can’t expect us just to walk from galaxy to galaxy now, can they? Normally, most of us remember to turn on our invisibility shields, but then there are those who just can’t seem to ever remember to do so.

Interviewer: Seems that all forms have that section of the population. Now, would you be willing to share, now that the world knows the existence of alien kind, what kind of stop Area 51 is? Is it like a resort or rest stop or even what we call an amusement park?

Todd: I believe you humans refer to this sort of place as a prostitution house.