Hard

It is hard to believe that you are beautiful. It is hard to believe you are nice. It’s extremely hard to believe that you are smart. It’s hard because all your life, you’ve been told otherwise. You try to keep courage and have strength through it all but in the end, it’s a deadly process in which hate, negativity & wrongdoing slowly devours you whole. You try but it’s hard. And everytime they tell you it’s not true, it’s a lie, you are beautiful, talented, smart, you just give them a fake smile, and shrug them off. “YEAH RIGHT”, “OK”, “TOTALLY”, “YEP” are all the things you say to brush them off when in reality, all you want to do is cry, spill the bubbling truth waiting to burst out, run to their aid, fall into their caring arms. But you can’t. You can’t because you’ve done it before. And you have gotten hurt. You want to collapse into the loving, caring, approving arms of theirs. But you can’t because those loving, caring, understanding arms, are actually thorny, burning, spiky, scraping, screaming bulging, fake arms. The ones you trusted and knew or thought you knew so well, have turned around and once again destroy you. DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, LOVE, & CARE ABOUT. GONE just like that. So it is extremely hard for me to believe that they are not true. And no matter how long, or hard I try, it is just going to get even harder.