Cassandra

For the longest time you were my best friend.

We stuck by each other through infertility (me),

Divorce and depresson (you).

I bit my toungue when you would say "my friend Maura."

Even though I knew exactly who Maura was

Because she was once my frend, too.

One day Maura branded me a bad person,

A liar, a betrayer of secrets, ungrateful,

And even worse.

I became wary of your continued frienship with her

And distanced myself,

Though you did nothing wrong.

Shamefully, I ghosted you,

Because of an imagined conversation we might have had

If you had asked me about Maura.

I further put a nail in the coffin of our friendship,

When I wrote about my continued frustration with your depression,

Letting your parents enable you,

Your lack of motivation in finding a job,

And to be independent.

This got back to you through Maura,

Who I know shared the news with you gleefully,

And damaged my reputation even further.

The thing is, she was right about the way I treated you.

I'm sorry.

Now I go out of the way to avoid places where you might be

Or where I might run into your family.

Rather than dealing with my shame about everything that happened.

Cassandra, I have too much shame to face you

And I regret every minute of what I have done.

I wish I could turn back the clock

And make it all go back the way it was.

But instead I have to deal with my shame.