failing at being my best.

This might not be a poem

This might just turn into a rant

Well, so be it.

I am not being the best me I can be. I want to be great. I somehow manage to succeed in life but not in an outstandingly manner. I do my best when things are laid out for me and I recieve help. Not that I can't do nothing by myself. But right now I just wish someone could tell me how to feel.

I am experiencing emotions I haven't experienced before.

I'm taking risks and trying things that I didn't think I was capable of doing.

I'm also being irresponsible with school. I can't force myself to sit down and write this 1,000 word essay.

I think I've been talking for to long, even though I hardly talk.

I'm tired of feeling alone.

I'm tired of seeking attention.

And I wish my nails were longer.

I don't know how to better myself or my crafts.

Well-

I know what to do, but I don't know how to balance what I want with what I need.

I can hardly balance the unhealthy life I already live.

I don't sleep enough and I don't eat foods that help me and I procrasinate too much.

There were times in my life where I had my shit together. It sucks that right now I'm reminising on that state of mind.

Reminising while I desprately wait for a boy to text me back.

I am disintigrating as I type.

And I want to cry, but I don't have time for that.

I have to wrap this up and finish my essay.

Good night.